What is my function?!
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hello, I am rather confused!
My girlfriend and I have a long going LDR. We love eachother very much and spend alot of time talking and playing games online. We generally have alot of time for this. She's usually very happy and loving. Sometimes Im washed up in it all. But she goes through moods sometimes when she's busy with school and exams. She's more distant and alot more irritable. I understand this comes from all the stress and I know I should give her some space and just try to support her with some little things that say i understand and I care about you alot. She just started a new school year (she lives in Germany btw) at the highest level of their "highschool" which is not easy to get into. She only has 20 people in her class but the work, though she says is very easy, is highly taxing to her. She comes home tired every day and asks when I talk to her if she can take a nap. Of course I say yes. I dont know why she asks me, she doesnt have ask me for that stuff and I dont tell her what to do.
Anyways, I think she needs alot of space but there's this one hitch. I had a chat with her about this and she said that we should always be together as much as possible. When we first got together she loved to be around me as much as possible. She even said she didnt get to see me enough. We saw eachother maybe 5-6 hours a day... I know she needs space now... even if she says I shouldnt be too far off. I mentioned this to her and she brought up our chat before. But shes very different lately. Like I said irratable and generally impatient about alot of small things. I also have one more worry. What is too much space?! What if I wander off for too long and she decides im not giving her enough attention? Phew...
So, what is the best course of action here?
My apologies for the story.
I thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Any guidance now would really set me at ease.
Keep up your discussions with her on the topic of "space" and her workloads. She seems to be trying to make as much time for you as she can. Sometimes she may be irritable because she feels physically stressed as well as emotionally.
Believe me she will let you know if you give her too much space. It will seem like you are ignoring her she will say. Remind her that you want her to feel comfortable with how much attention you are giving her.
LDRs are a challenge and it seems that you are doing very well. Expect some ups and downs and you won't be bothered by them so much.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com