What's wrong with us?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Well my story is like these my and my gf have been together for 8 months we had so much issues they always passed away. 2 Months ago we went to vacation and had the time of our life together when we came back she had to go for 3 weeks to vacation with her parents. Her parents doesnt know that we have something so she had to hide in order to call me, during those weeks there were 1 whole week i didnt even hear anything of her nothing not even a email well I got really mad and when she came back I started acting really jealous and paranoid i started asking her everything and didnt trust her that much. But the worse is that when she came back she was like an other person she used to call me every time or txt me now she doesnt, she used to come at my house every time she had a chance now she doesnt, she used to call my mom every day now she doesnt call her so often anymore. I talked to her coz i wanted to know what the problem was she says its bcoz I put to much pressure on her and I'm to hasty. I asked her if she wanted to end the relation but she says no lets try again. Well 2 weeks nothing changed last saturday I asked her if she was going to go to my house with me she told me no I got really angry and talked to her but calmly trying not to show my frustration, I told her that why is she like that with me i've shown her during these weeks how much i changed in order for us to be happy but she's not appreciating my hard work. we had a long talk she told me that she didnt want us to hurt each other any more I told her if she thinks its a good idea to break up she says it yeah.... well I told her i respect her decision and she hugged her she started crying like never before and hugg me i started crying too but tryid to hold it up. The same night when she got home she called me bcoz she had some issue at home and we talked the next day we met at work i tryid to be as normal as possible and happy I greeted her with a big smile she greeted back and start talking during we talked like friends, when we had a break i was going home she called me to see where i was i told her i was going home if she wanted to go with me she said yes. well we came to my home talked and my mom asked her about our relation she answer to her that there is nothing wrong we just trying to make things work again.... so I thinking that to I try to give her some space but after 2 days she calls and tell me she misses me and loves me she want me.. but when im with her she doesnt tell me or do those things.
When trying to talk about the problems she gets angry and says shes tired and doesnt want to talk about anything. (i think this behavior is bcoz im always talking about the problems).
Now she wants to change her work and im thinking if the distance is going to throw use further from each other.
Now we are trying to see if we can work things out its still going ok but she isnt like giving me all the attention and love I used to get from her and I want that back.
How can I get her back the way she was before?
Some background info:
She once caught me chting with a co worker on a flirty way
I wasnt really the kind of guy who does romantic stuffs for her (only once in a while)
I think we have some mayor trust problems.
What to do to save the relationship?
Stop flirting with co-workers and stop being jealous and paranoid yourself.
Then, learn how to be romantic with your girlfriend. You have a new relationship (8 months is not long), so she will expect you to be romantic especially at the start.
Take her out to dinner, buy her flowers, tell her you love her, and give her affection whenever you can. She is not going to bond with you if you don't make her feel special and cared for.
So that is how to save the relationship. Be a true boyfriend, be romantic and treat her nice. Naturally, you should be developing intimate discussions so that you will come to know each other better.
Ask yourself how much you love her. If you love her strongly, these things should come to you naturally. If your love is weak, her's will be too.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com