Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Alright ummm heres the problem.
Im kinda getting a sever physical attraction from my girlfriends younger 18 year old sister. This is exciting, and ANNOYING.
I have a theory why its happening. Anyways, my girl friend and her sister are very similar looking, and personality wise, both really happy hyper people. My girlfriends family has a history of health problems resulting of poor food choices and low amounts of exercise.
I like to think that im not a shallow guy. I dont go looking for 1 night stands, ive never dated a girl for her looks. My current girlfriend i fell in love with because of her eyes. Didnt even see the rest of her and i was snagged. There couldve been a really fat girl behind the counter and with those eyes i wouldnt have cared.I dont use girls as trophys.
I keep active and healthy, im not a workout nutbar, or a health nut, i just eat healthy and exercise. I want to take care of myself.Im not ripped with a 6pack.
My girlfriend has developed some lazy exercise habits and picked up on junk food eatting. In the past year id say she has put on 10 pounds. With no real end in sight, cuz she makes excuses for why she cant get around to exercise. She said she try to lose it a year ago. But nope. Now we go through winter where she eats more and stays inside, thanks giving, christmas, vday, and no exercise and...ya.
I havent been in many relationships, so i dont know grounds for concern, or being shallow, or expectations i dont know much at all. But the sad thing is, that i have had a minor loss in attraction to her since she put on the weight and didnt try that hard to lose it. Her tummy looks fine when shes on her back, but its affecting her close, her legs, her butt even. She doesnt look half as good in a bikini. And that sucks, because shes so young, this isnt a good start. She snacks alot. Thats the biggest issue.
I dont know if im being shallow in saying this but i look at her family, and i KNOW where she is headed. I would seriously have a big sexual attraction problem if she puts on another 10 and doesnt care. Its 2 prongued, the look, and her NOT CARING about her health!
I have friends saying, thats not healthy. Some say, hey if she doesnt want to look good while you do it for her get her to get on a tread mill or your gonna have problems performing and being honest with her when she asks how she looks. Some say ill enable her to get worse if i just keep not mentioning it seriously. Other say, shes letting herself go? Then bail. It can only get worse if she doesnt care.
Her sister looks basically like a younger, leaner version of her, hence why i think im developing a minor interest in her.I wont be telling my girlfriend about that detail any time soon. Well i guess i always found her sister pretty. Most guys do find their gfs younger sisters cute, creepy enough i know alot of guy friends who like their gfs moms looks...ewwwwwwww.
So my gfs getting worse, and her sister keeps looking better to me...THIS ISNT FUNNY! I dont like that i was at a party 1 time and a little tipsy and looked at her younger sister and for the first time ever checked her out and thought, damn...she is hot...not just cute...hot...great...i think shes hot...damn it.
See thats a 3rd issue, ive never dated the HOT chick, never had a 1 night stand, never had a passionate encounter with a pure beauty. Never slept with any girl thats smokin hot either. I know wild oat sowing is something most guys do. And most of my friends with the advice have that element..."why date somebody who doesnt wanna take care of themselves, other fish in the sea."
Im not shallow...i dont think...but yeah, just 1x itd have been nice to date a hotty.
Its not alot of weight, its NOT, but its significant to her look. It stretches out her pants, her clothes, her swim suit, its costed her her figure and shes really young!Her family history, her worsening eatting habits, and she doesnt care...none of that do i find sexy...
How the HELL do you tell your girlfriend, LOOK! This isnt healthy! Im not messing around...and im slightly less attracted to you in different situations now...?!?!? WITHOUT MESSING HER HEAD UP!
And what the hell? Is getting attracted to a gfs younger sibling common? Id never act on it, but its sooooo annoying.
Am i shallow?
First let's talk about her younger sister. Sure, she is a younger trimmer similar version of someone who you care about and of course you will be attracted to her. Not unusual. However, you have yourself gone over all the reasons you should work against these feelings. So forget her.
As far as your attraction to your girlfriend... let's not try to judge you as to whether you are shallow or not. You obviously are concerned about how her behavior is affecting your relationship and so in that way you are not shallow.
My advice is to find a way to get her become more healthy. I don't think you can help her cut back on snacking unless you start making healthier snacks and bringing them to her. Veggies, etc.
So what is left is to encourage her to get more exercise. Suggest walks, skating, bowling, etc. Find something like that to do every week. My guess is that she has some concerns about her health and may welcome having a partner who is eager to help her. Oh yes, if she likes to dance that is healthy too.
As you said, you have to be careful how you handle this. Don't go on about how this is for her... emphasize instead how good it will be for your relationship because you like to be active and want to be active with her. She will be happy to do this for you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com