How do I deal

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male

Sorry to be a bother with my issue, but I need to find some way of dealing with my frustration. I'm a sophmore in college and I've never had a gf, but I did have really strong feelings for one of my friends at one point.

I guess I developed those feelings because she was so warm to me, and because she said we shared similar views on sexuality. You see I believe in abstinence. I guess I seek that common ground in a romantic partner because I feel like I'm the only one who feels like sex is worth waiting for, I just want someone who understands me.

Anyway long story short (I'm paraphrasing cause I came here about it when it happened and I don't want to annoy you), She ended up being mostly lesbian, which hurt, but I supported because she was my friend. She of course has to project this of course by talking about all the girls she's interested in to me, and talking about having sex with them within earshot of me.

We had a falling out for a while because of the first girl she dated . She was the first cause of her parents are'nt acceptive of her sexuality.......when she claimed to be bi ....she confided it in me before anyone else at school....making me feel even closer to her...

. She spent all of her time with this new girl and none with me, so i ditched her. She then whined to me months later and said she missed me and thought that I only wanted to be her friend because I was interested in her. I told her no, thats not true. We started speaking again right before we let out for summer break (and we start up again in 2 weeks).

Well anyway here's the problem....

I've been incredibly passive aggressive towards her ever since we started talking the point where she's complained.

Like I'll bring up how frustrated I feel at our extremely liberal art school, because no one has the same values as me, with religion or sex.

I'll talk about how I could transfer and not care because I have no real friends (ok that's not passive....that's a direct shot, I know)

I'll criticize her on everything, her art (more so then is normal) , her choice in girls, her relationship with her brother....

I'm not interested in her, or any girl I know for that matter....and I'm completely aware that I'm being a jerk, but I don't now how to stop. What should I do?

I've had almost a year to deal, and I still harbor so much latent animosity towards her. Advice
Doesn't sound like you have very good feelings toward her.

Why do you keep hurting yourself (and her too?) Isn't it time to break off and go your separate ways?

That is my recommendation.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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