Can't Get Over Him... Tried Everything..
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
my best friend and i fell in love (never actually dated, but acted like a couple), he ended it because he lost feelings, and shortly after found someone else (me and him lasted nine months). it destroyed our friendship, and he wasn't as upset as me because he had this new girl.
we hardly talked for a month, and in that month, though i was still heartbroken, i found happiness again and was almost sure i was over him. then instances happened and he wanted me back, (he said as a best friend but he also said he may have never gotten over me), and the guilt and sadness of hurting me and losing me cause him great pain, and his relationship with the new girl turned on and off (he said he wasn't sure how he felt about her).
i realized i was still in love with him (we got "together" a couple times) but i never told him, though he figured it. i told him i would stay his best friend, just so he would be happy with me, his best friend, and her, his girlfriend. it killed me everyday, but i wanted him to be happy.
they began dating again and they were happy for about a week. during this week, i realized how completely unhappy i was. i knew that he could be happy with her, so i planned to tell him that i needed a long break from him, but once i was over him i would be back as his best friend... then before i could tell him... she broke up with him. and now he's completely heartbroken, and hoping she gets back with him. she told him she won't cause she doesn't have feelings for him (he pours his heart out to her but she acts like she doesn't care), but i know there is still a chance it will happen.
even though this is slowing destroying me, i know i can't leave him now, cause i'm all he has at the moment. even when they were dating and happy he told me that in the future he wants to marry me. but right now the time is wrong. but them being off and on is breaking my heart all over again. its breaking to see him so upset because i love him so much and would do anything at all for him.
i need a break.. but i know that i will fall in love with him all over again.. but this break would help silence it. i already know i will always love him, even if i do not marry him and find the next best thing. i have tried to be with other people, but i can't. no one even comes close to him. even though i am young, i truly feel like he is my soulmate. he feels it too and has told me we're meant to be together, but he right now he wants her. a fortune teller told me that we have that connection, and that he will propose to me. but i never fully believe psychics.
what can i do to help him make it through his break up?
is it possible for me to get over him and just be his best friend or are we really soulmates? i've tried, i truly have.. sometimes i don't WANT to ever love him like that again... but i know i always will.
what other general advice do you have about this?
thank you so much :)
For now, assume the role of best friend and help him through his breakup. My guess is that he will come back to you again once he is through with his current girlfriend.
As far as soulmates... only time will tell whether you were meant to last together forever or not. Always listen to your heart and you should be ok.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com