This October... is it worth it?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Okay well obviously it I wouldn't be asking for advice if I had even the slightest doubts that asking this girl out is even worth it. I'm talking about her-- I wanna know how to determine if she thinks it's worth it.
First of all, I was the one who wrote "This October..." way back in February (did I give my name... blast! I think I did!). So just to save us all some time I'm gonna summarize what I said in that letter: Basically I like this girl that I met in the 3rd to 4th grade a BUNCH! So she moved far away back in the late summer of my 5-6th grade year. I was bummed out, but never gave up on the hope that maybe I'll see her again to tell her that I like her. And shoot, maybe she'd like me too! So I might see her again this October for a camp staff reunion-- actually it's now been confirmed (I WILL see her). There I'm gonna tell her how I've always felt about her. But between the time when she moved and now, I've developed a lag in social activity, so to speak. I just don't go up and talk to people. people have to come and talk to me to get me to speak. Well, that's not good because I've always been nervous around her but now it seems that I probably can't even stand properly around her. But that doesn't matter, because I've been working on it and I decided that I'm not anti-social, but rather I don't have enough people to socialize with (small school, small church, and don't get out much).
I think that was it, now it's time for today's problem: I know I want to take the risk of asking her out, I think it'd be best for me even if she turns me down, but what if (oh jeez, how do I explain this...) she doesn't think it's really worth getting anything started with me? She lives several states away! In this case, finding out if she likes me then asking her out is the easy part. And if she doesn't want to go out for a night, then what? Well straight up telling her "hey I like you" isn't not gonna work out anymore. Should I just leave it alone and go on with life? Well I'm not gonna do that either simply because this is something in life I can't quit on. In an exagerated, core way, I guess what I'm trying to say here is how can I know if she still likes me (not saying that she ever did though). OFFICIAL QUESTION: How can I figure out if she liked me, and then figure out if she would still like me when we see each other again this October? (so sorry, I got really confused with myself while writing this paragraph)
Okay now I need something else. I can't just go up to her and say "hey", I need a good reason to even be near her. This is pretty much already asked in Official Question #1, but asking for a little more detail. OFFICIAL QUESTION: How do I get near to her, and then ask her out? I guess you would need the setting of where we would be... I could fantasize about this myself, but I've done that a million times, I want an idea not from myself. We are basically gonna be running around a camp with maybe some activities for the "grown-ups" or "ex-staff members". I don't really know what it's gonna be like... But the experience of the advisor shall aid me! What would I need to do in a situation where all we are doing is running around the camp hanging out with some old friends?
Yes, I re-read your question from February and my reply to you then.
It appears that you ignored all of my advice! I suggested you develop your social skills so you would feel comfortable at the October event and with talking with her. You say you have a small school and church. That's good. Now make friends with everyone in your church by October 1st. Learn their name and make sure they know your name and your cheerful smiling face. As far as schoolmates go, organize a small picnic at your house or a park (you will need assistance from your mother.) Tell them you are trying to meet more people.
As far as the girl goes, I suggested you find a way to contact her (through the internet or whatever) and build up a relationship so she will be happy to see you in October. It isn't too late to do this. Ask her friends, don't give up.
When you meet her, introduce yourself immediately and ask if she wants to hang out. Go for a walk around the area and talk with other kids. Once you feel comfortable, tell her you like her and ask her out if that is your plan.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com