Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Alright, first, I would like to thank the kind advisor who shall be responding to my little tale. I'll try to be quick.
Last year, I was 15, I met a boy, 17 years old, and he had a real impact on me. He was never really clear however whether he was interested in either me or my friend who i had brought on holiday with me. However, two things he could not stop talking about: another boy he knew i dated, and my age, because i was a 'kid'. So, anyway, he left that year, and we stayed in contact through msn. He told me a whole bunch of sweet stuff, telling me he missed me, how it hurt him not to say goodbye, and how he wished he had held me in his arms. He also mentioned how different and amazing a person i was. Anyway, oddly enough, i started believing it.. This summer, i saw him again when i went out one night, and it was great, he greeted me, and asked for my number. Unfortunately, we didn't know the area code, so the phone number plan didn't work out. The next day, we spent the day at the pool together with him and my friend. Yet, he always brought up my age. My friend was telling him a story, and randomly he blurted something which will now not leave my mind. He said: "My friend" is definitely not a virgin. After which, he added: "My name" definitely is. He told my friend he thought she was corrupt and laughed, and he described me as innocent. The fact that he said these things made me feel very judged, exposed and uncomfortable. The next few days, he talked to different girls around the pool. However, it seemed like a game to him or something. Finally, both my friend and i got to know some other boys with who he was friends. My friend and i went out that night and we met them, and the boy i met last summer saw us and left. Almost done... So I went to the pool, and we crossed paths. He said: Hey, you alright? I go: Yep. He can tell i'm lying so he says: What's the matter? I say: Nothing.
That night, he asked my friend over msn why we never talk at the pool and why i sounded mad. Unfortunately, my friend was not at the computer at this moment and we did not get to respond. Lastly, today, I went to the pool with my friend, and I had forgotten something home, so i left for about an hour.. When i come back, he's come over to her, and they're chatting. Why would he pick the one day I'm not there not to pretend he doesen't see us? Then, i come, sit down, he stays maybe another 5-10 minutes and tells us he'll see us later. Later, in the pool, he throws me a ball, yet doesen't say a word. He told me so many times before summer we needed to go out and make up for last year, but he never brings up doing something now. Yet, we have seen him out a few times, and he always says hi, but does not try and get us to tag along. I probably already know what you have to tell me... "He's just not that into you"... I just want a concrete and honest-spoken answer", because this has been troubling me quite a lot.
You will need to be more communicative with him to let him know you are interested in him. When he asked if you were alright, you should have talked with him more and perhaps let him know that you liked him.
Or, perhaps, as you said, he is just not that into you. But you won't know until you try. Be brave and jump in the pool!
Good luck. George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com