Am I a cheater?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I went abroad for six months, alone in a big city. I was also suffering from bipolar disorder. Before I left my boyfriend said i could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn't let him know. I'm not a sex fiend in fact I never crave or feel a need for sex at all. But I ended up sleeping with a lot of people to cope with my mental illness and loneliness. When i returned home my boyfriend secretly read my emails and text messages and found out I had slept with other people. i confessed everything. But who is really at fault here? He told me to do whatever? What i did was also completely out of character and totally a result of being mentally unstable. Am I really a cheater in the typical sense? We still are in love and had imagiend spending the rest of our lives together now everything is ruined and i don't know how to put together the relationship. Advice
It is only a problem if he makes it one. Remind him, of course, that he told you to do whatever. The fact that he found out is his own snooping fault.

On the other hand, he has the right to change his mind and if your actions have hurt him enough then he may leave you.

If you cheated on anyone, it is yourself. You did things that you normally wouldn't want to do.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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