Best Friend With A Side Of Love?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Me and this guy have been best friends for about a year now. We fell in love, but never dated, just had a intimate relationship behind everyones backs and appeared as best friends on the outside.
We were good for about nine months, but he moved on and found a girlfriend and cut me out of his life. This girl and him dated for a month, and me and him didn't have any contact over that time, except for an occasional phone call.
One night I was with a group of friends and he happened to be there without his girlfriend. He appeared to be in a foul mood and would not talk to me. He left and not even five minutes afterwards I received a text message from him stating that he hated me. I asked what I had done and the conversation eventually led to him telling me he had made a mistake letting go of his best friend. He became depressed and broke up with his girlfriend.
Over the next three weeks, we rekindled our friendship even to the point of becoming intimate a couple times. He was also still spending his with his newly ex girlfriend.
I have told him that it is envitable that I will fall in love with him again, we both agree that we are perfect together, but I told him when I do, I won't be able to be his friend. He has been considering getting back together with her, but he is DETERMINED not to lose or hurt me.
When the two of us have discussed this situation he has told me things like, "sometimes i think deep down I'm still in love with you" and various other things that have made me question if he IS still in love with me or not, or if he is and just doesn't realize it.
The only thing keeping him from being with her is that he's too scared things will change between us.. and I'll admit I feel bad about this. But everytime I bring up me and him just ending our friendship... he breaks down.
He always wants to be around me, and gets angry when he sees me with my other guy friends because he says "they never have to worry about losing you."
I just want to know what he's thinking. Or what someone else thinks about this situation. Is he in love with me? Or is it really just a very powerful friendship?
Thanks for both your time and your help.
Sounds like a powerful friendship. If it were more than that, you two would be back together.
Tell him you want a break from seeing him and that the time apart will be a good test of his feelings for you. Then stick to the break until you are sure that he really wants you back and is not yo-yoing you like he is now.
I think you are right not to have him as only a friend. This would torment you too much and you would end up breaking up anyway.
Hope this was of some help, George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com