How do I proceed from facebook to real life?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I am an incoming college freshman, and have never dated before. I never made time for romantic relationships in high school, nor did I meet any girls who really interested me. Now, for the first time, I'm genuinely in love. I began talking to a girl via Facebook who is also an incoming freshman. We live in the same state, and I discovered we have so many interests in common. We are both bibliophiles, we both love the same music, ambitions and goals, etc. In short, she's the first girl who not only attracts me physically and in terms of looks, but in deeper qualities as well. I can't stop thinking of her daily, and we have had chat conversations that go on for hours. She also is apparently very happy whenever we talk to each other, laughs a lot at my jokes, and has said that she is excited about meeting me when school starts.
I have a number of questions about how to behave when I finally meet her in person. First, she is a devout Catholic, while I have been a lifelong humanist. She doesn't seem to have a problem with my faith (or lack thereof), and I don't like her less because of her religion. In fact, I have some members of my family who are Catholic, but should I bring up the issue of our religious differences? The other question on my mind is timing. I'm not a shy person, so I feel ready to approach and befriend her, spend time with her and all, but I'm worried about timing. I think I'd be moving too quickly if I held her hand, hugged her, etc. during our first times meeting each other. When should I start performing these actions? Should I start inviting her to outings with just the two of us early on, or wait? Also, a female friend of mine told me that after 3 to 6 months, a guy moves into the dreaded "friend zone" and a female friend would consider her "undateable". So, I'm planning on meeting the girl of my dreams in September, and then confessing my feelings to her around November. Is this a good pace? Thanks for all your help. I've found this site recently, and I appreciate it immensely.
Congratulations on finding a nice, compatible girl. You will remember her for the rest of your life even if things don't work out.
Don't bring up religion unless she does. If you can, tell her you are spiritual but don't believe in a specific religion.
You have spent so much time on FB and will continue this summer so don't be shy about giving her a big hug when you first meet her. Start dating right away, you can do this without asking her out. You will be surprised at how many interesting activities there are on campus if you pay attention.
November is a long time to wait before telling her you love her. You might tell her that based on your FB interactions, you are starting to develop feelings for her and that you are looking forward to seeing her in person.
Right now she is looking forward to meeting you. Keep up your FB and let things develop naturally.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com