Should I stay to see what happens?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 yr. He has had a troubled past involving the law before I met him. He recently turned himself in due to a warrent that he had not taken care of. He is currently in a work release program and will be getting out in a month. He does not have a job at this time or a place to live when he gets out. In the year that we have been dating I am the one that pays for everything because for most of the time he was without a job. When he had a job he would spend the money on himself or at the bar. He has lied to many numerous times and it usually has to do with alcohol or money. Before he turned himself in he told me that he was going to be open and honest with me and that he wanted our relationship to work and get his life on track. I recently found out that a few days after this talk he had lied to me and was abusing alcohol. I asked him about this and he stated that it was because he had a problem with alcohol and that he wasn't going to be drinking or lying when he gets out. I feel very torn what to do because I am really the only person he has in his life that supports him or has faith in him. I think, because of his past with the law his family has stopped helping him. I am just not sure if I can believe that anything will change when he gets out. I love him very much and I don't want to hurt him when he is at his worst. I am not sure if I should stay with him and see what happens when he gets out or if I should look at the situation as the fact that I have already given him numerous chances?
Just so he understands what is happening, give him another chance but explain to him that it is his last chance. I doubt if he will give up drinking, but if that is what you want him to do then give it to him straight. Either he stops drinking cold-turkey or you are gone. Tell him you are doing it because you care about him and his future life. The way things are going, he is headed down a dead end... and trying to take you with him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com