drinker, drugs... What should I do?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 weeks, 5 days. I met her the day I started dating her, cuz I had been helping her around town drunk. She sobered up, and we decided to go out. We're both 15.
I'm a pretty clean kid. I don't drink or do drugs (partially due to my epilepsy medication), but I used to smoke but quit for her.
She's experimenting with pot and mushrooms, and gets drunk quite a bit. I don't like it at all.
Our downtown friends pressure her into drinking and doing drugs, and I really, really don't like it. I know it's her decision and all, but I KNOW it's the wrong decision. It's not healthy for her, and i've talked about it to her, but she doesn't seem to care.
It's really, really stressful because on occasion she's more willing to go out and get drunk than see me.
The thing is, is that she's the nicest, most amazing girl i've ever met. She's a good girl with bad habits.
She wants us to do it on our one month anniversary. i'm not a virgin, but she is.
Now, with all the stress being caused from this, I have a few questions.
1. Should I break up with her due to the distance caused by these habits?
2. Should I tell her it's either me or the drugs, not both?
3. When it comes to sex, how do I know if SHE'S ready? I don't honestly think she knows herself at this moment. she's fairly impulsive (she dated me the day we met and when she was sobering up, and didn't regret it the next day.)
4. How long should I be putting up with the drugs and drinking?
This is a very difficult situation and my advice may not be very good.
I'm not your age group, of course, so my experience is different regarding age.
You do not approve of her drinking and drugs and that seems a natural reaction since you are sober. It is difficult to trust people with strong lifestyles. You said she is nice and amazing, but how much of that is due to the drinking and drugs? If she cares for you she should be willing to try to be straight and see how that goes.
1. Yes, I would recommend breaking up with her.
2. Yes, tell her that it's either you or the drugs.
3. I don't think she is ready... she is too impulsive and ruled by drink and drugs.
4. You have to decide for yourself really how you feel about her.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com