Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Ok so here is the deal. I've got this really close friend that I happen to have fallen in love with. She knows how I feel and sadly says she doesn't share in those feelings and that she sees me as a brother more than anything. I told her how I felt a while back after she broke up with her ex and since then we've only gotten closer and she still insists she sees me as a brother. I'm fine with that and have done my best to get past it all but there is a catch it seems.
As we got even closer and time passed things seemed to relax some. She slowly stopped addressing me as brother when we were together alone and the whole thing just seemed less awkward. I just viewed this as normal and payed it no mind. Also during this time we picked up the habit of tickling each other when alone. And although I start it sometimes as of late she has been the one who starts it. Another thing is that over the last month or two we started cuddling. It started simple enough but now its outside (if you ask me) the realms of ANY friendship. I'm not talking about just my arm around her as we watch a movie on the couch. I'm talking about lying down on the couch with my chest to her back, "spooning" if you will. She also falls asleep on me and/or in my arms all the time when we are together watching movies (she's an insomniac and doesn't always sleep well) Also when we are together cuddling I always find her stealing glances at me when she can, even if it means squinting at me so I might not notice. She has even agreed with me that when we are alone the only difference there would be if we were dating would be the kissing and other stuff like that. I've asked her and she has said that she enjoys the time we spend together and that she is comfortable with all of it and I don't force it on her or anything. But the thing is she only acts like this when we are alone and wants to keep it that way to "avoid stares and questions" And even though she has said she "likes me quite a bit" she says I'm still her brother. i.e. she couldn't date me.
I still have feelings for her and don't understand if she is trying to get me to take it further. She often says how sorry she is that she doesn't feel for me what I feel for her. Also I've found her body language and stuff say otherwise. I at first thought that the reason I saw this was because I was looking for what wasn't there and thought I found it. But then my co-wokers, friends, and family all started saying they saw it too. (they donít know about my feelings for her btw) I can see it in her eyes and how she moves. She looks at me differently than the way she used to. What should I do? I could type a lot more and give you more detail but I think this is getting too long. lol. Sorry about the length itís just a long story.
PS No I haven't kissed her and she is open to dating guys currently. Even trying some online stuff but she isn't trying very hard cause she just "doesn't care. If she's meant to be with someone then he will find her"
I just turned 21 and she is 19 just so you guys know.
Keep doing what you have been doing and things will turn your direction. It is usually impossible for two people to spend so much time together and be physically close without becoming more than friends.
It seems to be the time to take things a bit further. Give her a kiss on the cheek from time to time and then on the neck and then the lips (unless she reacts against it, of course.)
My guess is that she is becoming more attracted to you and she is waiting for you to make a move. You have nothing to lose so why not?
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com