Girl I love, likes someone else
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Okay, for those of you reading this, this will be long as I'm looking for serious help here.
I met this girl the summer before 6th grade at a company picnic(our dads work together). I was just struck by her beauty, I was literally in awe. So I talked to her, and we hit it off as friends pretty well. I got her A.I.M screen name and went home a very happy boy. Then, late in 6th grade (we went to different schools) I told her how I felt. I told her that I was crazy about her, and I told her how beautiful I thought she was, and that her personality was the greatest of anyone I have ever met. I even wrote a poem. She told me that I was really sweet, but that we should remain friends. I was heart broken. Then it was even worse, she ended up getting a boyfriend! But I still loved her (yes, this is a love at first sight moment) so I stayed her friend. We went up to Quebec with both our families because we both ski (Yet ANOTHER thing we have in common). But anyways, to spare some time, we would drink from the same glass, sit in the same chair, normal stuff for close friends. But I thought she was getting over her ex- boyfriend, and so I risked it all again, and told her again how I felt. Same thing happened. And then, her and her ex got back together again! The same thing happened in 8th grade, and I told her I thought I was in love with her and she called me a creeper but somehow, we managed to get through that and we're still really good friends. So now we're just ending our freshmen year in high school together and she is still... just my friend. And today, she told me about how the BF from 6th grade and her are sort of off and on about their relationships. Anyways, shes this goddess and im sort of the skinny, not an adonnas, but O.K looking. Ive had a few girlfriends but most lasted only a week or less, my heart just wasn't into it. I want two things, either to somehow win her over, or to get over her and move on to other girls. So can you help me out here? What should I do? Change how I look? Workout more? Ill do ANYTHING for this girl.
Don't do anything for this girl. Whatever you do has to be for improving yourself for YOU. She will not respect any changes if she thinks they were solely for her. However, she will notice and admire positive changes as she observes them.
Working out is a very good idea. It is good for you, good for sports, and good for attracting girls (including her.) Another area of self-improvement is getting good grades and into good classes. Girls are easily smitten by a smart guy who is also physically attractive. Speaking of that, take a look at yourself in a mirror after dressing for school. Are your clothes, your hair, and shoes in good style? If you don't know what that is, look at the most popular guys in your school and most of them will be looking good in that department.
Another thing that attracts girls is when you are popular with other girls. So take the opportunity to flirt with popular girls and to try dating popular girls. Your crush will notice this and think of you in a better way.
There are a very large number of other things you can work on: humor, literature, happiness, friendliness, sports, drama, music, etc. Remember you are doing these things for yourself and you can't do all of them at one time--except for character traits like friendliness, loyalty, sense of humor, making lots of friends.
Try making slow changes in a lot of areas for your own self-esteem and you will find yourself becoming more popular and attractive.
Hope this helps! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Not meant to be