I need help trusting ( when he did not do nothing wrong
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am in a relationship for a year now and its not that complicated. He was a player before me I met him and he had a girlfriend that he lived with and she had 3 kids.( None were his.( He said he wanted to start a family of his own). He said he was having problems. I keep talking to him as friends for the next 2 months. We hung out everyday and went home to sleep for 4hours then come back and we hang all day. One day at the end of 2 months he left the girl he was having problems and a month later and we started going out. From that moment he left till this day we have been insperable. He has stop smoking and drinking. And hanging with his friends that were not good influence. We finally moved in together. He comes home to me everyday right after work. Besides that we go every where together.
But for some reason I can not trust him. He was honest about everything from the beginning. And I saw how he lied to her to spend time with me just the first few days then he moved out. He said that he broke things off with the girl because he was unhappy and wanted to find the one for him. And my parents do not have issues they are happily married for 30 years. So the rust issues is not fromt there. I just think that cause he did it to someone, that means it could happen to me.
I know I choose to be with him and he knows I have my trust issue. He says it been a year that I should get over it and that he is not going any where,he said that he wants to be with me forever. He popped the question and gave me a ring like 1 month ago. And I know he loves me.
How can I trust him?
Ask yourself how you can trust YOU.
You were part of the cheating too. How can you be trusted?
You only cheated a few days before he left her so this isn't a big-time problem unless you make it one.
You have everything you want so your lack of trust may be hiding some worries about your situation. Think hard about it. Do you love him and want to be with him forever? If you are not sure, do yourself (and him) a favor and split up with him. Both of you deserve better than an untrusting relationship. And, it seems nothing he says or does will change your feelings.
Maybe it would help if you saw a professional counselor. This is important.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com