HELP....i dont know how to go about this
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Ok, so this one girl and I have been good friends for a while now. We started becoming good friends after she broke up with her ex, who is also my best friend. We tell each other just about everything that happens in our lives and we text just about all day. Recently, over text message, she said that she was getting feelings for me that were more than just friends. Then maybe a week later we decided to go see a movie and to do dinner before. I asked her if it was a date and kind of told her it was, just trying to see what she was thinking. So then the next day we had a TENSE conversation, over text message, and she said that when we went to the dinner and movie it just seemed like another time hanging out, which it was because I didn’t do anything special to make it seem like a date. At that point we both agreed on just friends.
Well, a few days later I realized that I did have feelings for her. So after she got off work one day I met her in the parking lot and I told her that I did have feelings for her and all that good stuff, in person of course. She said that she kind of saw me like a brother and she couldn’t see herself kissing me and that it would be weird if we dated because we knew a lot about each other and knew each other so well and because I was her ex’s best friend. She also said she was afraid to lose the friendship, which I completely agree with and I promised her that I wouldn’t let it fade away if we broke up because she means too much to me as a friend. I told her that I would forget about her dating my best friend and all that other stuff.
So then I asked her if she’d be willing to try an ACTUAL date or two and she agreed. I also told her that I was going to cut down on the amount of time we spent hanging out because I wanted to try to get those awkward feelings she has to go away. she didn’t seem to have a problem with that either.
This girl means A LOT to me because I can be 99% myself when I’m around her. I feel absolutely NO pressure what so ever, which is the way it should be.
-----What can I do to make one of our dates more like a date and not just another time hanging out?
-----What can I do to help get those awkward feelings to go away that she has?
I would really like to make this work, please point me in the right direction. Thank you very much.
Try being more romantic: tell her how beautiful she is, how you like her hair, etc. Be more physical attentive: hold the door for her, pull out her chair, touch her shoulder, hug her. Pay very close attention to how she reacts to this kind of attention. If she holds back don't give up but go back to your hang out style for a little bit. Remember you won't feel 99% yourself when you have to think ahead and analyze what is happening.
But that's ok because she will sense you are trying new things and you aren't so sure of yourself and that in itself will make it feel more like a date.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com