Is he shy? How to act towards him?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am taking a class with this boy, let's call him "Gerry", but I have never paid attention to him, because I am a senior, and he is only a freshman. I noticed from the beginning of the semester that he is very cute and handsome, but I rejected the thought of even getting to know him because he is way younger than me.
Anyway, it all started during the spring break. I got an a phone call from someone, who named himself Gerry and said that we know each other very well. After my question "where do we know each other from?", he hang up the phone. When I came back to the dormitories after the break, I searched my skype and my facebook but I could not find anyone with the name Gerry. The only Gerry I could think of was the boy from my class. It is a drama class and we all gave our cell phone numbers to the director, so I supposed he could have taken my number from her. Soon after that he started bumping into me in the disco and also I noticed that he kind of shows me to his friends when he thinks I do not see him.
Later on, my roommate, who is taking the same class with us started noticing some stuff. For example: the whole cast is not on the stage all the time, so she can watch from the audience. The first time I played with the boy and I got off the stage to sit by my roomamte, she exclaimed: "My goodness, it is so obvious that he likes you. I can see it by the way he looks at you and the attention he pays to you." So, she deliberately started looking at us while playing and she keeps saying that he feels out of place with everybody except for me. In her words, I am the only one that makes his smile glow. She says that he is sad and not enthusiastic when I miss a rehearsal (I am auditing the class so I do not attend it all the time) She also says that he is obviously nervous around me and that he finds it difficult to talk to me. The first time we went back to the residence halls together after a rehearsal, he kept looking at his shoes and we did not talk a lot. He also does other things like paying me compliments and using phrases like "Stop thinking like a senior...", "I know you consider me the typical freshman, but..." When me and my second roommate met him on the street once (I was busy talking to another friend of mine, so I noticed him at the last minute, my roommate exclaimed: "My goodness, who was that? You know that the minute that guy noticed you from far away his smile literally started glowing and his eyes started sparkling! And he kept looking your way until you said goodbye to the other friend and finally noticed him on your turn!"
Well, correct me if I am wrong, but all that looks like something... but I think he is shy. Am I right?
Other problems are that I am older than him and I am quite self-confident, I mean men have always considered me beautiful, sexy, etc. so I kind of express that confidence in the way I walk and talk to people, etc...
But I do really like him. I have no idea how, but somehow he got under the walls I have surrounded myself with... so, how can I soften my "strength" and show him that I care? I do not want to scare him by being too pushy, but I do not want to lose him as well by being too reseved. Is there any advice for a situation like this?
Yes, he does seem to be shy and he also seems to be very interested in you.
Don't worry about being too pushy, just ask him out for coffee and spend some time talking with him and get to know him better. He will be delighted to receive your attention.
Too many potential relationships fall apart because both parties are too reluctant to pursue their interests.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com