Is something wrong with me?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
The only guys who have ever showed interest in me has been online. I did not take these guys seriously, but this one seemed to completely understand me. He only lived an 1 1/2 away from me, so meeting actually seemed possible. We talked for months onie, with a few actual phone calls and web chats.The problem started a couple of months ago, he got asked out by another girl online and went on the date. He didn't tell me until 2 days later and then played it off as nothing, until I kept pushing for more info, then he admitted he was really into her and wanted more with her, but he wanted to remain my friend. So, we kept talking, but it was hard cause I kept thinking how he always played off meeting me as being shy and not wanting to get hurt. So, what did she have that I didn't? Why didn't he at least want to see if I could be anything? He even tried to down play the date, so if it didn't work out, I'd still be there, but I didn't want to do that, even if it was just online. Well, the girl it turns out had a bf, she didn't tell him about, so he took it out on me. He took every insecurity I ever told him and threw it back in my face on why he would never have met me. He said I was too shy, insecure, and have no ambitions so why would he date me? Yet, he doesn't even have a job, cause in his own words he's too lazy. I also, am a virgin and I told him this from the start of when meeting became serious, and he didn't care, it was ok. After that failed date, he said all he wanted was to have sex, so I wasn't right for him, but then he posted that he wanted to be a good husband and dad to someone. So, obviously, he just doesn't want me. The only reason, I'm having such a hard time is, if I can't even get some guy on the internet to want to even meet me, let alone date me, how am I suppose to feel confident enough to actually get a date in real life. He beat down my confidence so badly, I just feel like an ugly freak. I'm just tired of being alone.
Call your local recreation department and find out what they have to offer. Co-ed volleyball is a great way to meet men and there are many other possibilities.
You can't remain being shy anymore. Obviously you are a late bloomer but you have to take the responsibility to actually bloom. Get out there into the sunshine!
One reason this guy didn't want to advance your relationship was one thing he said, and that was he wanted sex. That is a high priority for any guy. Clearly that isn't all he wanted, but he did want it. If you had tons of guys flocking around you, you could remain a virgin... but you don't so you will have to get over that hump (excuse the pun.)
Drop that loser... he doesn't even have a job because he is lazy. Do you really want to pursue a relationship with that type? You seem desperate and you need to get over it. Go out into the real world, practice getting over your shyness. Have faith in yourself. There is nothing wrong with you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com