Baby Mama Drama
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months now and for the last month and half or so, we have been having the same argument--the subject of our argument? His "baby's mama". Before we became a couple, he was in a strictly physical relationship with this girl and she got pregnant and had his child.
The child (a beautiful baby boy) was born about two months into our relationship and while it was difficult for me to deal with the fact that he had a child outside of our relationship initially, I accepted it.Also, being the product of a "broken home" myself, I understood that my boyfriend and this girl would have to interact on a certain level (the parenting level). but I wasn't prepared for what is in my opinion, excess communication. They have idle conversations on the phone, she buys him gifts, and gives him money. He is very secretive about what they talk about and then makes me feel as if my insecurity is the source of our problems and not his behavior.
I also believe that, even if he doesn't mean what he says to her, he is telling her that they will be together and that doesn't make feel good either. I care about him a lot and I don't want to be with anyone else, but I feel so helpless and I'm starting to think that I actually may be over-reacting and allowing my insecurity to delude my perception of what is actually going on between he and his baby's mom.
I'm soooo confused. Please, help me!
I think you have answered your own question very well.
You seem to be over-reacting to the situation (although the situation is not very easy.) Roll with the punches and don't let it become an issue between you two. That will reduce the conflict between you.
Congratulations for dealing well with this difficult problem.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com