beyond confused?

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
i met a guy at work in may 07. he is muslim
there was an instsnt attraction and we started to spend time together. one thing led to another and before we knew it we were
sleeping together. this was wrong in his religion so we stopped seeing each other for a while. we tried to be just friends but
every time we were together things happened. he always said he would never marry so it was best for us both if we stopped any
contact outside work.
in december07 we did not contact each other for about 2 weeks until new year when he asked to meet.we met and he asked to marry
i was extatic as i love him very much and he said he loved me.
the only thing he asked of me was to not allow him to touch kiss hold me etc until we were married. i found this very difficult
and we slept together. after that he changed. he said we were not compatable. he said his feelings did not matter it was what
his mind thought was right. we should not make decisions upon our feelings.
i have been devastated since then. he will not talk about us. he just said it is not right and he is not a guy for marriage.
we spoke 2 days ago. he said noone knows about future. we could be friends or close friends or even get married but noone
knows.i agreed that noone knows what will happen in the future but he said i always push and question ant ask assumptive
questions about future.
please help me.i dont know what to do. i need some advice. please?

yours faithfully Advice
Ask him to start over with your relationship. And then respect his wishes to have no physical contact. It is important to him and when you don't respect him he worries whether you can be trusted or not.

Tell him you agree with his conditions and that you can be good friends until perhaps some strong relationship will grow. Use the word "think" when you talk with him. Don't tell him how you "feel" because he doesn't like that. This is at the beginning, of course. Eventually you both should be willing to share feelings since that is very important for a couple.

Ask him if he thinks this is a good plan. He will probably need time to think it over.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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