Ex back in the picture...for the 3rd time
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Ok, me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 5 months now. Her and I have been best friends for about 4 years. Not to long after us meeting she started dating one of my friends. Her and I are still close during this period and as their one year anniversary comes around she finally comes up to me and tells me that she likes me and that she wants to be with me. I'm kinda iffy at the situation and originally denied it. Well not to long after that she broke up with her boyfriend, it was a bad relationship, he was just using her for multiple things and me being her best friend after finding this out didn't want her to be with him any more. Well we started hanging out by ourselves and we get closer to each other. We were basically together but I decided to make it "official" by asking her (I asked her with a shirt at school). She said yes and we started going out then. Everything was fine until around December 2008 we had a fight and she went back to her Ex to be comforted and helped...her feelings started to rise back up for him. They would talk more and more. Then our fight ended and they broke of the constant communication. Later about 2 or 3 weeks, she starts talking to him again. This lead to her going out one day with him...even though i know what he wanted, and she had sex with him. She told me the next day and felt like crud cause of it, cause I love this girl with everything I have, I forgave her. He was out of the picture now. Everything was ok with the exceptions of little bouts here and there. Might I add that my parents don't like here now. They did but not anymore. Anyway, she recently found old pictures of him and her. She was on the phone with me and was looking at them. She then asks me "Do you think me and ***** were a cute couple?" I gave her my honest answer of "Eh, kind of but after I found out all the stuff no not really." For the next 15 minutes she was completely quiet. I tried to talk to her and she would snap at me when I asked if she was ok (obviously not) or if she was still there. Then she hung up on me and told me not to call back please cause she didn't feel like talking. She told me the two times before that she was torn between us two. She told me straight up that she will always love him cause he was her first love. I'm afraid that she will fall back into the trap that she has for the last 6 months of her relationship with him. Because for the last 6 months of her relationship with him, she tried to break up with him numerous times but they ended up back together.
Is this just jealousy? What do I do? Why is it that she keep going back to him? Is it cause of the amount of time they spend together?
IDK cause she will say how much better I am than ***** and how much she loves me. She tells me how much I do for her and how I take care and care for her.
Is is just the missing him or the times they have shared?
Any advise on my situation would be great. Please help me :(
I think you should take her word for it... she still loves him because he was her first love. Find another girl to hang out with and see if she comes running back to you. After all, she says she loves you. You can never tell which way the wind will blow so be ready to switch directions.
Basically she is confused. You will be suffering until she figures out how she really feels.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com