The Vacation Romance

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met a guy while overseas and we really made a connection after spending several weeks together – we have so much in common. We have been emailing daily ever since, and have mentioned meeting up again just after Christmas.

While we both thought that we had fallen for each other, I don’t think either of us is “in love” yet. Do you think it is possible to successfully progress a relationship and fall in love with someone from a distance? Do you have any tips for taking it from a long-distance relationship to living near/with each other? Advice
There's a reason that there are so many cliched jokes about vacation romances and cruise ship romances. It is SUPER easy to fall in love with someone when you're off on vacation or on a cruise or relaxing away from the "real world". It is far, far more difficult to actually have a strong, honest relationship with someone when you are dealing with every day chores, stresses, work, family, difficulties, etc. So yes it is always POSSIBLE for that long distance / vacation romance to turn into a real romance. But it is not EASY and it is not always successful.

I do have tips on the long distance to short distance relationship change here -

but the main thing is to be as brutally honest as you can with yourself and your partner. It's easy to get swept up in fun dreams and talks of how much better this is than anything else you've had before. But you need to realize that that is because up until now it's been mostly founded on fantasy. You both have idealized each other and been on your best behavior for each other, you've shared hopes and dreams and built worlds without care. Dealing with each other while alarm clocks ring and bosses yell and rent is due and so on is an incredibly different matter. That new-love shine wears off very quickly, and the real question is how you'll deal with each other when that happens.

If you both roll up your sleeves and know it'll be a ton of work, and agree to work on it 100% to make it work, you do have a chance. I would spend as much time as possible together in real world situations - not off on vacations - to see how you really relate around family, friends and your 'real life' worlds.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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