I Need Him
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Ok I guess I can start off giving you a brief explanation of our relationship before it ended. We started off as friends who "liked" eachother. We got together once but he broke up with me 2 days later and told me it was because he cheated on me. That was maybe 3 weeks after we met. Than about a month or two went by and we were still infatuated with one another. Everything was great. Then his best firend got locked up and I felt he needed some time so I broke up with him. Again about a month or two went by and we still wanted to be with one another. We got back toghether. After that things were great. Amazing. then one night he asked me to marry him. Ring and all. We talked about kids, and futures, and a pretty house the whole nine yards. We stayed together for about 6 months after the ungagement. We started having issues when his parents separated. we had to take care of his little brother. clean the house. FULL TIMe adult responsibilitys. We are only 16 and 17. So we started to argue. ALOT. Then once his parents separatons was final he had to move in with his grandparents which is about a 45 min drive from my ouse. I went with him and finally his grandfather kicked me out becuase my fiancee and I fought to much. So its been about a month or two since that happend and finally he told me he wasnt in love with me anymore. ?He said we fought to much and the feeling just arent there. But he tried to tell me it happened over night. this happened about a week ago. But he still came down and spent valentines day weekend with me. He stayed from friday until monday night. We had alot of fun. Stuff we never did wen we were together. He told me that he is starting to like me as more than a friend but thats all that has changed. and wen I called him last night we talked for a little while. I asked him if he wanted me to just give up on him. He said he doesnt want me to just give up on him clompletely he just wants me to get out and do somethign. He sed theres still time. I jsut dont know what all of this means. He told me he still wants me to have his chlildren. when I told him that if we are with other people this is just not possible, and he said he didnt want to talk about it. I love him with all I have. PLEASE HELP
It might be a good idea to hold off on talking about babies, houses, etc.
You have a basic problem of getting along and that means don't talk about marriage until you can solve that problem. Think very, very hard about your arguments and try to figure out where your disagreements come from. Put them into categories like money, love, time together, friends, etc. Once you have them in categories start thinking about what is really important to you. You both can't have it all... there has to be compromising.
When an argument begins, take the responsibility of being reasonable even if it is very hard to do. He will soon started acting right too. Give it a try.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com