Jealousy Over Ex who is now my best friend & roommate
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I dated a man for about 6 months. We broke up because of a misunderstanding.
We remained friends & now years later are roommates. I moved from GA to FL, away from all I know because he told me he would like to try & see if we would work together as a couple.
He has told me that he thinks about wanting to get close with me again but is afraid to do so because he says it would hurt too much to loose me. (I think this is a line). When I moved here his first excuse as to why he couldnít try was that he was afraid of hurting me. This turned into he was afraid of being hurt by me because he cares so much about me. Now the newest is that he is afraid of my temper. (Yes, I do have a temper just like anyone)
He is a total gentleman. Opens doors, brings flowers, gifts, calls before leaving work everyday to see if I want or need anything.
My issues are if he doesnít want me why does he act as if he does or already has me...
He hugs & kisses me telling me he loves me. If I am lying on the couch, he will lay on me. Yes, we have been intimate since I moved in 3 times. I told him that I wanted to move back to GA, he cried & said he couldnít stand the thought of me being away & him not being able to take care of me.
I have told him this behavior is confusing & if he doesnít want to be with me to please donít do these things. He recently asked me to come on a date with him to meet a new friend of his that he may begin to date. His reason for doing so he said was because I was a better judge of people than him & he wanted me to meet her. When I said no & for him to go, he got upset & said that he would cancel, so I went. I was hurt, sad & uncomfortable the entire evening. . He thinks nothing of telling me about the women who call him &reading me their txt even though I have told him several times that it bothers me. I hate this & it makes me very jealous. Its hurtful. When I expressed this to him he told me that he & I had tried to be together & that it just didn't work we were better as friends. I told him I was not aware of us ever trying to be together & I didnít appreciate being told I had failed at something I wasnít given a fair chance at.
He doesnít think he is doing anything wrong because he has said he & I are just friends. Am I reading too much into his actions? I apologize for the length but needed to give you background info... Thank you for your help.
He is confusing to say the least. And, he is insensitive.
If you go on living with him it will just get worse. My advice is to do what you said and move back to GA. He may cry, but he can't have it both ways.
If all he wants to be is friends, then he is better left behind.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com