Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
i sent the question that read ...
"GI think im going to KILL myself..no joke. Im obsessed over this guy, but i dont know how to make him my bf. more then anything in the world i want to make him love me. ive known this guy since last year, and weve been talking since then. the problem is that he talks to other girls. hes not a player, but he just likes having options and hes really picky. he talks him self up so much that you wud think hes god. his personality is like brody jenners. he has a lot of girls he talks to but he likes lauren conrad. i guess in this case i am lauren. he is soo upfont and a million percent honest. he tells me absolutely everything. he told me he slept with a couple of these other girls recently at a couple of parties. he always tells me things like "if u go to this party you better not do anything stupid, im the only guy you can play around with" and stuff like that. one time me and his best friend were talking on myspace and he was at his house so it was like a convo with three people. we were talkin about making plans for the next day. after he went home, i called him and he told e he doesnt want me talkin to his friend nymore, it was just a one time thing so we can make plans and thats it. i luv it SO much when he says stuf like that because it makes me think he really likes me. but recently hes been kinda different. i asked him a couple of days ago if he was cool with me and my friend going to a party, and he sed "ur not a baby, u shud know if u can go or not" how shud i take that? hes been a little annoyed i guess recently, cuz evertime i call him during the day hes out, and the call goes to his voice mail. but sumthimes it goes too soon, u can tel he pressed ignore. shud i be upset that he sumtimes ignores my calls? or its ok?
he told me a cuple of days ago wen we were having a serious convo that he used to be so happy to see me when we just started talking because i was a new girl and he wanted to see how it wud go, but now that we've known eachother for a while he doesnt get that same excitment but he still really cares about me. and then anouther time he was out on a double date and i called (without knowing) and he was talkin to me and one of the girls asked who hes talkin to, and the other girl goes like 'oh sum chick prolly" and he got pissed and sed "shes not sum chick ok shes my friend !" i loved him with a passion when i heard him say that. but hes sending me soo many mixed signals im going insane !! i want him to be my bf but i dunno how to act around him to make him see my different then the other girls he talks to, so different that he wud want me to be his gf. how do i do that? shud i play kinda hard to get so he doesnt find me easy and wanna move on? or shud i show him that he can have me if he wants to (cuz i reallllly want him more then ANYthing in the world, and i can promise that) PLEASE help me. i need help, FAST!"
nd u guys responded u cant help if i say im gonna kill myself, im not being one hundred percent serious here, i just want help on my problem. please give me a respond back that helps my situation. i promise i wont kill myself
It's good to hear you are calming down. You will handle things better and think better with a clearer mind.
The best thing you can do is to develop a loving, trusting, honest relationship with him so that you can share your deepest feelings. This won't happen over night, but the sooner you start, the better. You seem to have a good relationship with him already, but it's time to step it up a notch.
Don't come on too strong or he might think you are clingy or too emotional, but at the same time you will need to continue your affectionate behavior with him. As far as letting him have you, that is always a tough one to answer. You don't want to be too easy but you want to keep him interested. Try being in the middle and see how he reacts.
Being a good couple is a constant effort even after you get married. Now, it is very important but harder because you don't have much experience.
The way to act around him is to be cheerful, always smiling, be honest, and be very affectionate. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach so ask him over for dinner or bake some cookies and take them to him at school.
Based on what you said, my advice is to calm down and be happy... that will attract him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com