Where Are the Sparks?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am 25, I have been in 1 relationship all my life, it lasted 4 years. Its been almost a year since that relationship ended. Since then I had been focusing on my career and had not dated at all.
Recently I met this girl. We have a lot in common. She is very sweet, there are a lot of things I like about her. So we have only known each other for less than a week now. I just got back from our first offical date I guess. It went good. We talked a lot about anything and everything.
I really like her ... its just that I have not been on many dates and I am not sure how I am supposed to feel. I mean I like her but there is no sparks yet. She is beautiful and all, but you think its is too soon for me to feel sparks since both of us are probably holding up barriers now ... you see both of us have not dated much at all so this whole thing is new to us ... I just need some advice on how to take thinks to a more romantic and personal level I don't want to be in the friend zone ... thank you!
Don't try to hold your relationship with her up to any MTV or movie ideals!! The very best relationships are between two great friends who really have fun together. There don't need to be "sparks and blow-out passion" right from the beginning. If anything, the relationships that spontaneously combust with passion also tend to die out and self destruct once that initial rush of passion is past. The relationships that grow slowly and strongly with real caring and affection are the ones that continue on for years and years.
What is between you and her is SPECIAL and unique and should only be compared against what is between you and her. It can't be compared to any other relationship. Concentrate on having fun with her, spending time with her, getting to know her and letting her get to know you. The better friends you become, the better the relationship will be.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com