All the signs he likes me - and all the signs he doesn't!

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Thank you for taking the time to read my question. In many ways my situation is as old as love itself, but also has a bit of a twist to it. I'll be as brief as possible.

I have romantic feelings for a casual friend I met at a religious group. He was friendly right from the start, and all the signs were there that he may be interested. He often went out of his way to greet me (which I initially thought was just his way of welcoming a new person,) only a couple weeks after we met he began greeting me with hugs, he has taken an interest in my life and how I'm doing and that interest feels genuine. Some other positive signs are when he and I ended up at the same party (completely by chance) he sat with me most of the evening, even though he knew everyone else in the room, at one point he even rubbed my shoulders. I've caught him looking in my direction as well, and whenever we speak he always keeps his eyes locked on mine, and responds in a way that lets me know that he is actually listening to what I am saying.

On the other hand, all the classic signs of him NOT being interested are present as well. Occasionally (and more often lately), he won't greet me at all, or merely with a nod or a smile. On one of the few occasions we've been the only two present, he was much less affectionate, more withdrawn, seemed in a hurry. He suggested an orchestra recording for me to listen to, so I took the opportunity to say that I would and we should get together to discuss it-he agreed without hesitation. This was a oouple of months ago and it has not happened. I've dropped hints, and he has also brought up our getting together (without prompting from me, I might add.)

I recently gave him my telephone number again, thinking if I was a bit more explicit that I am interested in a date it might inspire him to go for it, or let me know he wasn't interested. It has been quite some time and no call. Normally I would just move on, but sometimes he is just so warm and affectionate, it makes me hope that perhaps he does feel for me as well.

There is a substantial age difference, which means nothing to me (I'm younger, he's older) but I don't know if that is a contributing factor. I also get the impression he has had a difficult few years and is just coming back into his own.

My question is what to do next. I'll most likely see him sometime next week, and I really don't want to push too hard, but I would really like to know how he feels. However, in the setting where we meet, it's not appropriate to ask, and he doesn't seem in any real hurry to see me elsewhere.

Is it best to just drop this and hope he initiates contact, or should I continue to push for a get-together?

Thanks again for your time! Great site you have here! Advice
It does seem he is interested in you but perhaps has doubts for one or more reasons.

My advice is to invite him out to dinner and if it goes well then ask him over to your place to review the orchestra recording.

This approach should certainly help you two make your feelings clear.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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