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Love can be put off, never abandoned. --Propertius Sextus



After 3 years she still doesn't talk to me



Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
This all started in the summer of 2004. I was 14 back then. I met a girl in the park where i used to play football with my friends and we became good friends. She was 13. we spent nearly every afternoon playing together or just talking. I also noticed that she had a crush on me, i heard her wispering with her friends about that on my back several times, but i didn't see her that way. So for me everything was fine. And she was very shy so she never told me that. On th 23rd of december, at the same park i fell in love with her when we shared a "have a good xmas" hug. We both liked eachother, yet we were shy to discuss that. On that same xmas i got my first cell phone and on the first weekend of 2005 i gave my cell number to her younger brother. The day after i started to receive anonymous calls and always hang on me, and then not anonymously. Yet, i knew that had to be her, but the person never wanted to tell me. Back at school, i asked for her cell number, she didn't want to give it to me. and i even had her friends numbers. She was shy, so i played along and didn't ask it again. I only really discovered that was her number by march, i was in class and got a call from it and i heard her and her friends talking and laughthing but they didn't hear me talking to them. the cell was unblocked and must have accidentally called me. I said that to her and she admitted. We kept cool, although we knew more than ever what we wanted. But as i said we were shy, specially her. On easter we spent the whole day hanging and texting. Until late at night when she sent me a text saying "can i go to sleep now?" i told her "good night. i love you" she freaked out. after that it was never the same. she didn't want to be around me, she got very embarassed. And her friends started to joke with her often with that. She didn't want to see me again. I tried to talk with her but she didn't want to be alone with me. I was sad but i understood, she never had a boyfriend or kissed someone. And time passed and she was still unconfortable around me. So i did something stupid. I pretended to like her best friend to get her attention. and it did in a negative way. We didn't talk much after that and in the end of the year i changed school and we lost personal contact. Only chatted online, just normal talk about how was your day and stuff. But she was still angry at me. and we lost total contact. Now she only speaks with me to say hi on the street. I thought this could be just a crush, but more than 3 years have passed and i still think about her almost everyday. I am 18 now and she is 17. I know she hasn't been in any serious relationship in these years. So recently i tried several times to conctact her in msn but she ignores me. I don't know what else to do to get friends with her again and maybe try something but i can't reach her. I don't know if i should try to speak with her face to face because she might get angry at me again. Any help would be appreciated since i can't do it on my own.




RomanceClass.com Advice
This is a desperate case, and it calls for desperate action.

The first action is to get her out of your life. She is sucking your feelings dry and wasting your energies. She obviously doesn't like you and you should be seeking out other girls.

A different approach (but not recommended) is to go all out to try to get her. Save up and have some nice flowers sent to her house and ask her out to a nice restaurant for dinner--or maybe to a movie instead. Save the dinner to do if you two get together.

Remember, you can dream about flowers etc., but the real answer is to forget her.

Good luck! George
p.s. maybe you should discuss this with your parents. Three years is too long of a time to be crushing on someone. Your parents may suggest counselling which would be a good thing.

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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