Does this romance have any chance?

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been living with my boyfriend for nearly 9 years and do love him but don't think I'm in love with him anymore. We've been through quite a lot as he has addiction and alcohol issues as well as being useless with money! I've gotten quite close to a guy I've worked with for 4 years (he's been living with his girlfriend for 4 years) and we ended up kissing and getting physical on a night out a couple of weeks ago. We've both admitted thinking 'What if...?' and are still being flirty with each other but I'm not sure what to do. I am seriously considering leaving my boyfriend, not just because of this guy (even though I'd love to get it on with him), but 'cos I'm fed up! Advice
Try to separate your feelings for this new guy from your feelings about your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend definitely sounds like a loser. It's no wonder you have fallen out of love with him. If you are going to break up with him, be sure to do it in a respectful and honorable way. That means not seeing this new guy outside of work... or at least keep a hands (and lips) off policy. You will feel better about yourself if you can separate from boyfriend and still be friends. After all, nine years is a long time.

Once you have broken up, give yourself time to know yourself as a single woman again. Try not to get into a rebound situation which could easily fail. Take time and find a guy who has no addiction problems and has a good financial head on his shoulders.

Going from one person to another with little or no break is usually a mistake.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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