Married, cheating and confused
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been married for 4 years. We have a 3 year old daughter.
A year after my marriage, hubby was diagnosed with Bipolar Illness. He was in the mental institution for 5 weeks. He had this illness since he was 18 yrs old and he never told me. When he was in the institution, I learned that his sister is schizoprenic, his brother has epilepsy, his father has OC and bipolar too, 2 of his Aunt and his one cousin are all taking medication due to mental illness. I felt cheated because nobody told me about all this.
A year after he was diagnosed, I met this married man whose wife lives in another country with kids. He told me that he has a mistress. He is living with his mistress but his family back in hios home country doesn't know.
We started going out 6 months after we met. And it's been 2 years already. He told me 7 months ago that he loves me. But somehow I do not believe him. Because he has a mistress and a family. I know I have fallen in love with him as well.
Lately, I have been thinking of cutting the affair. I told him but he doesnt want to cut it. He says he is afraid to lose me. He says he loves me so much. And he makes me promise that what we have is a long term relationship and not just a short one.
I am so confused right now. I am happy when I am with him. I know I love him. He says he loves me.I dont know which path to go. But...I also know I cannot have him for my own.
Should I believe him that he loves me?
What should I do? Should I continue to do what is right? What shall i tell him?
You should seek out professional counseling. Find someone with whom you can share all you worries. Your situation is too deep for me to give much advice.
Your lover has a family and children in his country and he is living with a mistress here. Plus, he is carring on a second affair with you -- and you are married with a child.
I think few people would find this to be a situation where you should consider a long term relationship with him.
Once again, get some professional advice.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com