how do we stop arguing???!!!

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My fiance and I have been together for quite a while. We had some ups and downs, all my fault. We are now trying to mend and build a good relationship, and we are. But my ex husband has been causing me problems. It is so bad, because he was abusive to me. I am trying to move on from what he did still, even after all these years. He tried before to get me and my fiance to split, and is really possessive of me still.
Anyway, he now gets to see my children and take them for a week or so pretty soon. i am worried about the situation and its causing me and my fiance to start fighting, because i am so bothered by it. How do i explain to my man what is wrong? Advice
Accept the fact that you will be worried while your kids are away with their father. But, don't let your feelings overwhelm you. Everything will turn out ok and the time will go by rather quickly since lots of things are happening this time of year. We all tend to be a little anxious around major holidays.

Tell your fiance that you are just nervous and will be a little uptight for a week or so and ask him to bear with you.

You don't need any arguing making things worse than they are. Start making some small plans for while the kids are away so you have something to look forward to. Maybe a long weekend at a nice hotel or at least a few dinners out.

You want to feel your best because your kids will pick up on how you feel and it might make them feel bad if you feel bad.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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