Confused and in need.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My man and I have been together 5 months, today. We normally speak daily (at least a daily "I love you" text), but I haven't heard from him in days. He has been very distant. I know he is busy with school and recently moved (closer to me, yet I see him less). I have endometriosis and he has been supportive with taking me to the doctor if I need. We recently had a pregnancy scare, he was great throughout. Then, I hear from a doctor that what I thought was pregnancy might have ovarian cancer. I am waiting for my next appointment, very scared, and feel I'd be more calm and stay positive with him around. He makes time for his friends, but I have seen him less and less. He has told me he's scared because he's never known anyone who was ill. I realize that this could be rough for him, but it's hard on me too. I'm trying to not be that clingy girlfriend. I've asked him if he wants a break or to breakup, and he says he doesn't. He's mentioned before that too much time apart makes him wonder why I put up with him, I responded by saying I don't feel I'm putting up with him because I love him. But, lately he isn't acting like he wants to be near me. He never wants to talk. I just feel like my heart is breaking with the way he's acting towards me. I feel like I'm the only one trying in the relationship. I feel he should be helping me stay positive about my health, but he can't ever make time. He can, on the other hand, go out drinking with his friends all the time. Also, I fear his friends may be purposely making plans with him all the time to talk him out of this relationship. I love and miss him, but I don't want to make him uncomfortable by imposing, or be a burden on him. From what he said previously, I don't want to give him to much space. How much space is too much in a moment like this? I'm just really confused. Should I stick through his acting like this (because illness & love is a tough situation)? Or should I let go? I can't wait around blindly like this, going out of my mind, waiting for him to be ready for a relationship where our love has been declared.

I apologize for the length, and appreciate your time. Advice
Some people can't deal with illness, especially serious illness, and they become distant from the one who is sick. This seems to be where your boyfriend is.

Wait until the cancer scare is over and he is likely to come back to you. Of course it is sad that he is afraid of you now, but people aren't always as strong as we hope.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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