Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I met a boy this summer. He is 17. I am 15. We own apartments in the same complex. My friend and I met him as we were having a night out. We had seen him at the pool but had not had an occasion to talk. Both my friend and I were interested but did not know if he was. So that night, he stopped us and we talked for about 2 minutes. We decided to see each other the next day at the pool. The next day, we went and we talked to him for maybe 2 hours. It was different than it is with most boys. Firstly, he was older by two years, but it wasn't just that. He just has this natural charm, he's straight forward, and best of all he knows who he is and he's proud of it. He loves things boys usually don't, he's feminine. He likes to dance, he likes to shop, he likes to take pictures, he has ear piercings on both ears... Well anyways, he asked me during those 2 hours constantly about this boy i had gone out with a little from the pool. He made it sound like jokes though, like he was teasing me about it. Anyways, he went back to his country and my friend and i added him on messenger. My friend tried to talk to him a few times, but he didn't find much to tell her. I promised myself not to say hi, ever, if he did not first. After all, i had added him. And he did. And as he was teasing me, he suddenly let out i miss you. After that conversation we had another one where he told me he didn't want to fall for me so he remained distant and the reason why he was so inquisitive about the boy was that he wanted to know if i did or not like him. And so he told me he missed me, he would have liked to spend time together, it hurt not to say goodbye and he knew i didn't feel the same but he wanted me to know. And i told him i did feel the same because that was the truth. It still is but I've been thinking and I've realized when we go back, what's it going to be? We'll see each other, he'll take me out one night and it'll be a hook up? I don't want it to turn that way. As your daily saying says:
"All love that has not friendship for its base,
Is like a mansion built upon the sand."
I want to know the real him, so that I'll be happy to see him, so that we can have a fun time, so that we can develop a real friendship. I want to be able to be myself.
I want to go there and just be friends, and go out as friends, he can dance with who wishes, do what he wishes, just so i know him before anything happens. Then we'll see.. But I don't know If I'm right and i don't know how to let him know...
I am so sorry about this message as it is way too long. I tried to cut it short... Let's just say I like writing?
Thanks for your future response:)
You seem to have a steady head on your shoulders.
Of course you want him to be a friend before moving on to more intimacy. Keep talking with him and lay the groundwork for a good friendship. You can judge by his response whether you can trust him as a friend.
Be as frank as possible with him so he understands your point of view. He sounds like a nice person.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com