am i crazy to stay or will things change

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
this is kind of long but i want to give the whole story.....
so my boyfriend never had the best home/social life. well when he moved to where he lives now, he was 13. for the first time things turned around for him. He made friends and even developed a crush on an older girl. so we met in high school, and i fell head over heals for him. However i knew that this crush he had on this girl he met when he first moved here was something to worry about, after 3 months we broke up. we remained friends, and he began to date this girl. he was 17 she was 22. on two separate occasions he broke things off with her because he wasnt sure if he was with the right person that he thought maybe we were suppose to be together. however he went back to her on both occasions. They were together for 3 years, and went through a lot together. She was who he lost his virginity to, and he was with her when she battled cancer. about 7 months ago, he broke up with her, to be with me. we were happily together for 4 months, then out of no where he tells me that he misses her and wants to be her friend. i felt there was more to it, and we ended the relationship until he could figure things out. about a month later he asked me for a second chance. i said yes, and things were going great until he told me that the reason they never got back together was because she said he missed his chance and that she had moved on. He said he loves me that he wants to be with me its just that he is always going to have feelings for her, that there is a deep attachment there. He asked me to try and be ok with them being friends, but he honestly admitted to me he doesnt know what will happen if she decides that she wants to be with him again. I love him more than anything. i want things to work, but i have trust issues and im very jealous of the time they spend together even though it rarely happens. i dont want to have to make him choose, but at the same time i want the security of knowing i have nothing to worry about. ive tried to talk to him but he tells me to enjoy it for as long as it last, because he cant promise me it'll last forever. How should i go about dealing with this, i dont want to be second choice.... Advice
Unless you dump him, you will always have the worry that she will come back into his life. That's no way to live... always jealous and worried.

Even if he made a choice and it was you, she would always be there.

It's a sad solution but the one I recommend.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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