How Do I Let Go?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I just recently got broken up with after a two year relationship with the guy that I'm still in love with. We never had any real big issues, and we were never on and off, we were very consistant and usually very loving.
When we were applying for college, we both agreed that we wanted to stay together, it would be a little difficult because we'd be at different colleges, but our colleges are only 25 minutes away from each other, so it was completely do-able. Well about two weeks into the semester he broke things off with me, and started dating the girl that lived across the hallway in his dorm room. I was completely heart broken, and didn't understand how he could forget about me just like that. But he was still keeping in amazing contact with me.
After a while he told me that we'd still be together if we were in the same school, but at the same time he told me that he never truely loved me, that it was just a phase, and that I should just move on.. I didn't really, I was kinda dating someone but not officially, and it seemed like when he found out he was really really mad at me, and started going out of his way to pick fights with me and put me down. I tried to ignore him, and when I did he ended up deleting me off his email and his web cam, and now we aren't talking..
Just this morning I found out he's now dating this girl from our high school who he knows that I never truely got a long with. We were friends, and she knew how deeply I felt about him, but we weren't best friends or anything. He was always dissing on her and now suddenly he's all into her, and she lives an hour and a half away! His roommate told me just this morning that(my ex) sat him down last week and was so torn about me he was practically crying bekuz he has such strong feelings for me still, and his roommate said that he's still so in love with me and it seems shady with this new girlfriend, bekuz my ex just seemed jealous about my 'new guy', but then why did he tell me to move on? And how can he have a relationship with someone so far away after hating her for four years of high school, but throw away ours after two years because of a 25 minute distance?
What can I do?? I'm so torn over him going out of his way to hurt my feelings, or date someone because he knows that it's going to get to me. How can he mindlessly act like we never had something and say it was just a phase, but then say that he's still so in love with me. Is there even a chance I should try to mend things with him? Because I don't understand.. if I love him and he loves me, can we bury everything and fix what we had? If two people love each other... why can't they just be together? Should I even try, or is he just confused becuase of his pain?? Please help, I'm hurting, and I can't do this anymore.
Yes, he is confused. First he loves you, then he doesn't.
He has the be the person to answer your questions. If he really feels the same as you, it will be a simple thing to get back together. My guess is that it will take some long, gentle conversations before you two can figure this out.
Go to his college to see him if you have to. You have a lock on this relationship and it must be broken. Give it more tries.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com