Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I have both boy and girl friends, but when i see a girl that i really like/admire i just get nervours. Usually when i talk in general, I stutter, but when i want to talk to a girl i stutter and hesitate more to the extent that I can't even breath straight. What should I do?
Nervous stuttering is very common. You worry about saying just the right thing, so your brain keeps interfering with your mouth to make sure it's right, and it ends up stuttering.
It's a great thing that you have female friends!! That's THE most important first step. You need to make them part of your 'normal world'. The more comfortable you are around girls, the less nervous you will be. Meaning your brain won't be trying to jump in on you.
Learn relaxation techniques. There are a ton of them out there. First, make this into a 'normal' and not a 'scary' situation. Spend lots of time hanging out and talking with your female friends. Get it until it's second nature, that it's a fine, relaxing thing to do. OK, now start flirting with some of them. Just 'look you nice today' or 'that's a nice shirt' and so on. Your female friends will enjoy it, and you'll get comfortable saying things like that.
Now when you pass one of these 'scary girls' in the hallway, concentrate on the fact that she's just a girl like all your other friends, and that you'd like HER to be a friend too. That's your main first aim in any case, to be friends with her. Focus on the friends. She's not a space alien, she's a girl, you can be friends with her. So say hello as you would to your other friends. "Downplay" her in your mind, don't put her on a pedestal. Pedestal relationships are really BAD anyway. So treat her as a normal person.
Practice makes perfect!!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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