Ex girlfriend refuses to leave me alone.
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi there and thanks for taking the time to answer this. I was with a girl for two years who I sincerely planned on marrying. Well, last month she decided she wanted a "break" because we saw each other way too much, which I did not take very well. I kept bothering her during this break period, pretty much driving her nuts so she ended up breaking up with me. I was heartbroken for about a week after, but then went right into no contact and moving on with my life. She apparently hasn't been doing so good with it. She moved out of her parents house, started getting everything pierced, started smoking, drinking, partying.. just going pretty much nuts (which ultimately made the healing process easier on me, considering now shes everything I dont want in a woman) Heres the catch - she wont leave me alone!! For a while she was calling if not every day. I have explained to her multiple times that I cannot be friends with her, we arent together and cannot talk. She still keeps calling, angry that I'm hanging out with other girls, asking me how I'm moving on so fast, if I miss her, etc. But then, everytime tells me that she doesnt ever think we could be together again, which I am fine with. There are times when a week or so goes by, and I dont hear from her, but she always seems to bring me back to square one, right when I think I'll never hear from her again. I dont even pick up the phone anymore. I'm an hour away from her in college and last week she came down with some friends and stopped by (one of her friends is my roommates girlfriend) I ignored her while she was here in my bedroom and she came in, tried to kiss me, telling me it felt "right." And of course, the occasional calls. The other night she called and I picked up for the first time since the kissing incident, she was hysterical telling me how much she missed me, that she cant sleep, trying to bring up old times, asking me if I'd ever take her back. Shes all talk though. If she truly changed I might consider dating her again, because our relationship was truly wonderful before. But, she never actually comes out and says 'I want to be together again, or, I realize I made a mistake.' Its always just beating around the bush, like, "I dont know what I want," or, "I'm just confused." What should I do???? Its obvious I'm okay and shes not.
The next time she ask whether you would consider dating her again ask her if that is what she wants to do and ask her to really think hard about it.
If she says yes then tell her you would consider it if she was positive she really wanted it and would put in the effort to straighten herself out.
If she hesitates about any of this tell her it is too soon to make a commitment since she doesn't know what she wants.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com