We broke up, why did we?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
me and my boyfriend broke up, we were together for 11 months, and we never had doubts about eachother we care for eachother alot, but the problem is, he's very jealous about guys, I mean we just broke up like 2 weeks ago, and already we're seeing eachother like 3 days a week, we enjoy eachother company, he's so confusing, like were bestfriends but we still are still have sex, you might think he's using me but I know for sure he isn't.
a week before we broke up we kind of got into a fight, and he left and then when he got home he called me, and then I saw him again, and said he never had doubts about it, and he said he never wanted not to be without me the kid couldn't even spend a day without me, this went on up until the breakup.
he had all these different reasons - we're to young to love and I really hope in the future we can be something like we had, I can see myself being with you, I just hope we stay close, so we can be together later on.
I know there's something behind us breaking up, my mom knew right off the bat that it was his mother and I didn't believe that but there's so many pieces that fit..me and him were together everyday, not even joking we were like hatched to the hips, and I really think his mom wanted him to break up wit me. I was at his house the ther day and she didn't say hi or anything it was like she was giving me the cold shoulder she said hi to everyone else. I really think she was jealous because I was always with him we put alot of people on hold to hang out together,he calls me all the time, and right away when I get online up pops his name on my screen. the sad thing is he doesn' t really talk to anyone else online, just me..
he said he would never get bored talking to me on here, but in my eyes I think it's his mom. I really would like to know what you guys think, or it could be he just doesn't want me? he's doesn't commiticate very well, his parents are like that too, he says like were bestfriend but I think he's in denial. please tell me what you think thanks
p.s. notice how a week before we broke up he said he never doubted us! and the fact he says he never wanna break up!?!
Honesty and trust in a relationship is THE most important thing you can possibly have, so one of the most important things to know in a breakup is WHY. You two made a commitment to each other and now he's saying he wants out - but he won't give you a real reason. "Too Young" is not a reason. You guys weren't getting married, you were just dating. If he had an ISSUE with your dating practices he should have told you.
While your parents may not communicate a lot, there is NO reason for you to be like your parents in this regard. Talking is THE most important thing you can possibly do. Notice I've said that twice now :)
So sit down and have a serious talk with him. Do it somewhere private, where you won't be interrupted for a while. Tell him that you value his friendship above anything else - above the sex, above the 'titles' of boyfriend and girlfriend. And you really want to know how he feels about your relationship. Tell him it's OK if his mom raised concerns or anyone else, but that you want to know. Not so you can "blame someone" but just so you can better understand him and the relationship.
He should be able to be completely honest with you without fear of yelling or anger or anything else. Make sure he understands that and really believes that. If you really explain to him that this is important to you, and that honesty is important and that you will be truly understanding no matter WHAT he says, he might actually open up to you. And that openness, no matter what you guys are to each other in the future, will be the most important thing you can gain out of this.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com