He Seems to be Cheating
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi, I am 21 years old and I have been seeing my boyfriend for well over a year. About 4 months ago he moved back home with his parents which is about an hour from me. We used to see eachother everyday at first but now maybe two times a week. I'm trying to get used to the distance but I miss him a lot.
Since he has moved back home he has been hanging around his single friends who are only interested in picking up girls and sleeping around. I know that my boyfreind has a past with these guys and I am scared that he is going to get into the single life routine again even though he says he's not into that anymore.
I met his freinds and for some reason they don't really like to hold a conversation with me. It's like they don't like the fact that he is seeing me. We love eachother and I feel that he would not do anything to hurt me, but sometimes I doubt that. He respects me and calls me every night to say goodnight, and as far as I know, he is truthful to me. I am really close to his family also and his cousin told me one day that he had a girl in his car driving to a party. She said that she knows that my guy wouldn't do anything to hurt me but it was weird to some other girl in the car with him. She told me that it's hard to be my friend and be his cousin because she feels like she owes me a friendship in keeping me informed of what goes on when I am not around but yet he is family. Why would she tell me that?
I also notice that sometimes when he's with me, he doesn't answer his phone. One time when I asked him who it was, he said "Oh it's just Amanda, my friends ex. "She usually calls me looking for him". This put's thoughts in my head that why can't he just answer the phone and say he doesn't know where he is. I had a relationship before that I put full trust in and I was't able to see the signs that my ex was cheating on me. So now I have my eyes fully open and keep thinking that these are signs.
I don't know, I'm driving myself crazy with these thoughts and I am really afraid of getting hurt again because I was so naive before. I don't know if I should be worried about him hanging out with his imature friends who don't understand the word committment and who can't hold a conversation with me, the unanswered phone calls, the girl in his car, or his cousins statement. Are these signs that he's straying? Is there a way to know if he is lying? I know I have to trust him but it's hard in this situation for me. Deep in my heart I don't think he would hurt me but then again I didn't think my ex would but he did. Help,I really need some advice.
There really is no way to know if someone is lying but you're right, these are awfully odd situations. He should never be hiding things from you. Why would he not take a phone call in front of you? Also, a lot of people drive an hour or more each way to go to work. An hour shouldn't be an impediment at all to you guys seeing each other daily. Does he really have to live with his parents? Why can't he get a cheap apartment near you, or you near him, or both of you in the middle?
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com