I want my life back.

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
So first off I have to say that I am a 15 year old lesbian. Yeah, yeah I know I'm "too young" to know and whatever but thats not my problem. I've been dating this girl on and off for about a year. Before I had to call it quits because she was emotionally draining with her medication and her constant cutting. She called me saying she would kill herself if we werent back together.

This year we got back together, she told me she was better and she really loved me. It's approaching two months next week. Every time I bring up the subject of breaking up she sobs and says she'll die without me.

What you have to understand is that I do everything for her. I carry her books, pay for everything, open her locker, write her reports and I do what it takes to make her happy. I'm mostly afraid that if I screw up she will cut herself like other times I messed up. All of my friends and family hate her and her family pretty much hates me for "turning" her gay. I've already lost friends because they didnt want to see me get hurt. My life revolves around making her happy and its gotten to the point that I've unconsciously become and extreme pushover. Sometimes its not bad but most of the time we fight or she cries that I'm not doing something right.

I want my life back. I want my friends back. And I want to be happy.
I need to break up with her but I have no idea how.
Help?

Sincerely,
Desperate for change

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RomanceClass.com Advice
It is clear that you need to separate from her. She is blackmailing you emotionally and that is a bad situation (for both of you.) Since she is getting medication, she must be seeing a doctor.

If she ever threatens to kill herself or cut herself you MUST tell her parents right away. They will make sure the doctor knows about it. You must do this even though you know they will put a guilt trip on you.

Here is a thought. You will have to be brave to do it. Tell your mother that you want to break up with your friend and explain why and that you are worried that your friend might hurt herself. Ask your mother to call her mother and explain the situation. This will take much of the worrying off of you since it will be her mother's job to take care of her daughter instead of you.

Hope this helps! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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