logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole. -- Derek Walcott



He Pays Attention to Other Girls



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been in this relationship for about 8 months now. There are a ton of things that come first for him. He has two children from a prior relationship and the two of them are still friends. I understand that many things are just a priority before me. I have never been a jealous person before and I don't want to be that girlfriend that gets mad when he talks to another girl. I trust him completely and know he would never cheat on me.

However I seem to get jealous when we hang out with a large group of people drinking and he pays more attention to another girl than me. I think I am jealous of the attention not that he'll cheat but I don't know how to fix this.

I've never loved anyone like I love him and I don't want this to break us up and it's the only thing we ever really fight over. What can I do to not get jealous and dramatic?




RomanceClass.com Advice
It's very good that you're trying to think seriously about this and find a solution. Jealousy can easily destroy even a great relationship, and it's something that needs to be gotten under control sooner rather than later.

It's great that you say you trust him, and that the issue is really one of attention. Different people have very different needs in this area. It's not "bad" or "good", it's just the way we are. Some people love to flirt. Some people love to be just with their partner. Let's imagine for a moment you were a really flirtatious woman. You and he would go to a party and he'd go off flirting with some girl, and you'd go off flirting with some guy. Neither of you would cheat - you'd just have fun flirting. At the end of the evening you'd go home together, perfectly happy and content. For many people, flirting is a fun social situation.

So it happens that you and he are different in this area - just like some people are tall and some are short, some like bowling and some like fishing. He likes flirting and you like having him by your side. So you two need to compromise.

Talk to him and explain this to him. It's not that you want him tied to you. It's not that you don't trust him! It's that you feel lonely when he is away from you. That is really the core issue here. So ask him for help in having you not feel lonely.

First off, while you're working through this, he should spend part of his time with you, flirting with you. That way you don't feel "abandoned" all night. You get your time of fun with him. But after all, this is a party and if his aim was to stand next to you all night, he could have done that at home! Part of the purpose of a party is to have fun talking to OTHERS.

So find ways to get more comfortable doing that. Have him help out by introducing you to someone and then hanging around to get the conversation rolling - and then have him 'drift off' when you give him a signal that you're OK. Arrange another signal if you really need help - so that if you're stuck in a bad situation he knows to come give you a hand. But socializing is one of those really important life skills to learn, so it's key for you to learn how to have conversations with other people and enjoy them.

If he sees that he's helping you learn to do this, which will mean he can flirt while you're having fun flirting, I think he'll be really keen to help out. I do have a How-to on overcoming jealousy here -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/jealousy/index.asp

but I really don't think that's the issue. I think if you got more comfortable flirting and having fun at parties, you wouldn't depend on him as a lifeline to be by your side all night. I think you'd have fun talking to guys, he'd have fun talking to girls, and you'd go home together quite happy!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Jealousy Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

origami wedding favors