If you cannot have the one you love, love the one you have
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Here am I, a 25-year-old female in a very complicated situation. There is 25-year-old guy that I rejected at the beginning because I considered him unsuitable for me for a number of different reasons. However, when I graduallly realized that I love him he had already found another girl. Well, I accepted my defeat. The thing is though that either I am imagining things or he still has something for me: when we lived in the same dormitories, I would call him for minor things, like a DVD, for example, and he will be in front of my room even before I have hang up the receiver. now that he is in his own country, he wants to keep in touch with me, he wants me to send him some of my pictures, he keeps saying that he misses my voice, etc, etc... When I told him that our common friends say that he made the right decision by choosing the other girl that accepted him as opposed to me that rejected him, he said that that is nonsense. I do not know what to think anymore: he is 25 and as far as I know him, he is a good person and mature enough to know that it is dangerous to play games by doing stuff like the above mentioned when he has a girlfriend unless he still has something for me. An old lady, a close friend of mine, told me that he is in love with me but is settled for his girlfriend because, on one hand, he is not sure if I love him (I rejected him so many times!)and on the other hand, he feels secure with her, because she is definitely in love with him. In other words, he acts on the basis of the old saying: "If you cannot have the one you love, love the one that you have." Could that be true having in mind all the stuff described above? If it is, what is a good way to overcome my fears and to try to get him back?
It only takes three words: write him "I Love You" and then wait for his reply.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com