logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love. --Mother Teresa



Forcing Someone to Give Up a Friend



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Do you have the right (when you are in a long term relationship) to tell your partner that you don't want them to continue a friendship with someone else?

Personally, I don't think we have the right to do that. I would never want someone to tell me that I had to drop a friendship. The problem is, I am in that exact situation right now where my boyfriend has a friendship with an ex that I am extremely uncomfortable with and I desperately want to see it end. He has many exes that I am perfectly comfortable with, but this one person has caused me much grief and was one of the reasons that we split up for some time a while back. We reconciled and have been back together for over two years.

I had been hoping that with time my ill feelings about her would subside, as I'm sure she is a very nice person. The problem is that I can't seem to detach her from the memories of the past. She is the personification of a time when our relationship went sour and the thought of her dreadges up those painful memories. As it is becoming clearer that I can't let go of this hangup, my boyfriend is at the end of his rope and has offered to cut the chord with this person. It's what I want, but I am very upset that it has come to this. Not only am I disappointed in my inability to let the past rest, I also know he will be very upset to lose a friend and I fear that this will cause resentment in our relationship furthur down the road.

Is it wrong for him to axe this old friendship for me, and if so, what can I do to fix my feelings towards her to make things more manageable? I try to put up a good face, but inside I am sick to my stomach over it.




RomanceClass.com Advice
The fact that you are trying to deny a painful past and are now having to erase all aspects of it from your life is a really gigantic warning sign. Sure right now you're trying to eliminate her but what else is next? A relationship is about two people who FULLY accept each other - past present and future - for what they are. You cannot hide from the past. The more you try to squash it, the worse it will get.

I would really go to a therapist and talk about this. You have to come to terms with it and accept it, and accept the friend, and go on with things. If you can't, it is going to eat away at you in any way it can, through whatever current reminder. Burying the past or something painful is NEVER the answer. Just ask victims of child abuse about that. You have to confront it, deal with it, and then let it go. It's time for you to face that past and let it go.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Jealousy Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

French Wedding