How can I not be jealous when I have every reason to be?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male

Ive been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years. For the first year it was wonderful, me and her spend lots of time together, and even when she went to school (an hour and a half away) our relationship was strong.

In the last 3 months shes been hanging out a lot more with her friends (which are 4 guys) 1 of which I'm almost positive has a thing for her. Not only that, in the last 3 months she decided she doesnt want to be intimate with me, saying it make her uncomfortable. Anyways when she came home, I was always jealous when she would hang out with them, but it was understandable because I worked full time nights, and I didn't expect her to sit at home waiting for me like she use to (in the first year).

She decided to take a trip to visit her 1 friend (who lives an hour away)and her 3 other friends came with. She was going to stay the night. Again, Im logical, i know it would be stupid for her to come home late at night when it would be easier in the morning.

While she was away though, she ended up sharing a bed with one of her friends (a guy, not the one who has a thing for her) and I lost it. I know they didn't do anything, but still that isnt something a girl in a relationship does with another guy. Thing is, she doesnt think it was wrong.

Needless to say, I lost a lot of trust in her. Now she is starting to hang out with another one of her friends (the one that likes her) and is always on MSN with him when i'm over. I just can't trust her again, but not trusting her is ruining this relationship. And let me tell you, this girl is perfect for me! So i don't want to lose her.

Im sure she isnt doing anything bad with this guy, but how can I be sure? Especially when she shared a bed with another guy and didnt think it was wrong and also decided to stop being physical with me around the same time she was hanging out with them.

I really need advice, your advice could really help 2 people in love last. Please. Advice
The biggest worry I see is that she won't be intimate with you anymore. This is a sign of major change in your relationship. You should find out what is going on and address it.

That combined with her activities with the other guys should raise a lot of red flags.

Gentle conversations are a good way to make some progress. Especially find out why she is not longer being intimate with you.

Sorry you are in this situation.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!

Eating cake

Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Jealousy Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response

Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.