How can I Be More Sexy?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi! I am 22 yrs. old with my 3rd child on the way. I am married, going on now 2 yrs, but we've been together (dating) for 3 yrs.

The problem betweeen us that keeps arising is that, I am always the one that has a hard time showing affection towards my husband. Truthfully, it's mainly a sex issue. He enjoys sex, and so do I, but sometimes it's uncomfortable; which my husband does not seem to understand when I want to stop in the middle of sex. I recognize my problem that I need to be more in-tuned and show more attention, give him more hugs and surprise him with kisses. My husband is usually the one who will take that 1st step when it's time to get intimate.

I don't have a good relationship w/my father, and the main reason I did get married is because I wanted to have that strong, confident male figure in my life that will give me the respect that I deserve, and the love that I was missing for a long period of time. My question is:

1. Can you give me some pointers on how to be that person to take that 1st step when it's time to have sex?

2. He wants me to be more eye appealing to him, be more sexy. For example, when I get off of work, don't just come in the house and put my hair up in curlers, instead wear it out in bed. When should I change my clothing and wrap my hair up at night?

I just need some advice in keeping my husband, 24 yr. old happy as well as myself. We both want our relationship to last for us and for the children, but I need some tips to help me get enough courage to start the first move on him. Advice
I have lots of tips on the site about how to get romance going. Here is a selection of some -

There are probably 80 million ways to show someone you are interested in snuggling with them. In general, each of us has a level of snuggling we are comfortable with. Some like a lot of touch, some like a little touch. The amount we want changes over the years too. Just because your husband wants a lot of touching now, in 5 or 10 years he could want far less. It's how we all change over time.

So it's a matter of figuring out a compromise that changes year by year. Right now he wants more touch. So give him massages, get videos on massage and watch them together, get pillows for your living room and watch movies curled up side by side. Get massage oils. Get whipped cream.

But he has to realize that if HE wants more excitement in his life, HE should work to provide it. It's not your job to be his entertainment. It's not your job to be his "doll" that parades around and looks pretty for him. A woman is always sexy regardless of what her hair looks like. If he is going to be obsessed with what your hair looks like, what happens in 10 years when you start to go grey? Is he going to say that's not sexy?? He needs to learn to appreciate YOU and not to force you to dress up for him to meet his MTV ideals.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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