I'm Jealous, She's pissed
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi, So here's the deal. Me and this girl have been dating for nine months, it has been great, better than I could ever ask for. But we're now in college, and different ones. So here's the problem, i've always been sort of jealous, but I had enough trust to disprove my own doubts. My jealousy has shot to infinity now, and here's why. She was asked by a friend, who thought was cuter, myself or a friend of hers, and she could not asnwer, not the asking friend, or me when i questioned her. So its quite abvious she thought he was cuter, which upset me. Onto more, I later found out that the same kid she thinks is cuter than me, she hung out with by herself, the FIRST night away from me in college, she didnt do anything bad persay, but she did play with his hair for a period of time, and that kind of set me off, knowing she lied to me. Now for more of her lies, Day two, she told me she was hanging out in her friends dorm, turns out she lied and went to a frat party, and drank, which we agreed we would not do. That upset me to no end. Moving on, there are more boys she finds "cute" and for us this is weird, we always say we're the cutest people we've ever seen, and atleast on my part this is true. She says she wont cheat on me, and she would stop herself before she does, but it had only been one day and she was already showing affection for another guy, that sickens me. I have questioned her alot, and I feel I have overdone it, and I am driving her away. I can't afford to do this, this really is the girl for me, even if it doesnt seem that way, she's perfect in every other way except this spurt of untrustfullness, I need some serious help, and I thankyou for offering it to me.
Sorry you have had such a rough start with your long distance romancing.
Unfortunately there is a chance that your troubles will continue. It sounds like your girlfriend is enjoying the freedom that most college freshmen have.
In her favor, she seems to be telling you the truth about what she is doing.
Yes, you could drive her away by questioning her too much since it will make her feel guilty and lessen the pleasure she is enjoying. A better solution is for you to go out and have some fun too. Perhaps if she hears that you are just as free as she is, she will cut back some.
Or you could hope that she is just going through a phase.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com