Please tell me I'm right...
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I'm goona try to keep this as simple as I can so here it go's. 14 yrs ago got pregnant, I would drive every weekend down to see him(2hr drive).Well when I was about 5/6mon. pregnant thats when we basically ended it u would say.I asked him if he was seeing anyone he denied it. To make this short I raised our daughter by myself.Well about a 1 1/2 yr. ago we got back together(long story)well I even asked him again if there was someone else back then he still denied it said there wasn't. One day I was snooping(yah yah) well I found plane tickets and they were for him and another girl and the year on the ticket was the same year our daughter was born it was the next day of the day she was born so he did cheat on me way back then. Anyways my problem is this- He still talks to her,she sends him e-mails when she has called his phone I answered she hung up on me another time she called she said "oops,wrong number" supposingly she is married,but if you don't have anything to be guilty of why hang up on me? She talks to HIS mom all the time also. Then one time I was out of town couldn't get a hold of him so I checked his voice mail and there was a message from her saying she wanted to make sure he got home ok he did have a few drinks and how sorry to hear about some of the things he was going thru remenber shes always here for him and how she loves him. What is that? When I asked him about it he said he ran into her but my issue was why does he discuss anything with her and she dont need to be telling him how she loves him. He says "shes married my god your that jealous?" The fact that this is the same girl he did cheat on me,yah it does bother me. I don't want them talking at all.This is the same girl he was with when I was giving birth to our daughter(who almost died)and yah she did no about me. It bothers me the fact how his mom still talks to her because I feel she could keep in contact with her,but she couldn't keep in contact with me or her grandaughter all those years... Am I wrong for thinking like this? Please let me know..
Yes you are right to be jealous. She is undermining your relationship with your guy.
Explain this to him gently and ask if he would go to couples counseling with a professional counselor. The two of you could have a neutral person to help you work out your problems.
You seem like a reasonable person and with a little compromising my guess is that it wouldn't take much counseling.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com