Is this feeling normal, or am I just selfish?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
This may be one of the more selfish questions you've ever received. I am 21, about to enter my senior year of college. I have been in a very happy relationship with a girl I met here for over 2 years now. I love her very much.
The only problem is that she is the only girl I've ever been with sexually, and the more serious our relationship becomes the more likely it is that she might be the only one I'm intimate with. I understand that might not necessarily be a bad thing, but, especially while I'm young, I would love to be with other girls. This is especially frustrating at college, being surrounded by friends living the typical single college life.
To make matters worse, I am not her first sexual experience. So it's as if I'm the only one "missing out" on something. Part of me feels terrible and extremely selfish for thinking this, because I really do care about her. It's just I really feel that I'm missing out on a big part of what college is supposed to be. Is there anything I can do, or am I just being selfish?
Thank you so much,
You are not being selfish, just having a natural reaction.
It's best resolving this before you get in deeper with your GF. If you end up married, it may worry you to the point where it affects your relationship and you may also be tempted to cheat on your wife to get the experience you crave.
This idea may fall flat, but I would recommend that you discuss this with your GF and ask her permission to get some experience. This may backfire and you may lose her, but unless you are willing to go the rest of your life with only one sexual partner that a risk you will have to take. Or you could be cold-hearted about it and imagine that with the divorce rate so high you won't be married long anyway and you will get your experience between marriages.
Your feelings also may indicate you are not ready for marriage.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com