how do you let some one see who you really are.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I had been with my ex for almost 6 yrs, along time with someone. during the last yr or so of the relationship thought that we were drifting apart and we were more like friends. letting myself detach from him n i lost hope i ending up doing my own thing and ended up moving away and he didn.t move with me which i knew he wouldn't cause i knew he felt the same. We did the long distance thing and i finally broke up with him. It seemed at the time to be a weight had lifted off my shoulders. it wasn't a bad break up as he did feel the same. We talked on and off and he ended up going overseas. while he was away i realised i was inlove with him but too late he found someone 9 yrs younger. His wasn't going out with her but says he loves her. I think he thinks he does. We had a fight ova it of cause and we didn't talk. i ended up in a depression and had to fight that battle on my own. almost a yr later i moved back and decided to let him know who i had now become, a strong, wise person, who wasn't selfish n did honestly loved him and i was going to fight for his love. we ended up being friends and hanging out and to my surpise he could talk and open up to me but not about love. waiting months to tell him, i took the chance to tell him how i felt. he just wanted to be friends. i believe friends is the safe way for him and want him to just take the chance. i believe he has some feelings but has been hurt. He has an amazing person infront of him. how do i break that friendship barrier? how do you let someone see who you really are? been patient and giving. I just want him to see who i am and that it can work out if he could just give it a chance. Advice
If it's going to happen, it will. Meanwhile continue to share feelings, and information and also have a non-sexual physical relationship (touching, hugging, for example).

These activities will help build trust which is where a lot of a relationship's love come from. He has had six years to see who you are and if he doesn't know by now what are the chances he will in the future?

Do things that make you feel good about yourself... art classes, reading literature, working out, learn a language. He will pick up on your positive feelings and be attracted.

They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so perhaps you could invite him over for his favorite dinner every so often.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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