Breaking up with my best friend's sister...

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
About 10 months ago I hooked up with my best friend's sister. I had known him for about 8 years then,
but had only seen her at his place a few times. She came onto me one night when I was drunk at his
house, after he'd gone to sleep. The next morning I told her I wasn't looking for a relationship.
She said she understood. After that night she became more clingy and was always where I was. Currently,
when she is not at work she is at my place unless I visit her brother, then she's there. Her official
residence is her brother's house and that's where she keeps most of her stuff.

I became disabled last year before we really met. I've also been depressed for a long time, but even
more since the injury. I think she might be staying with me because she thinks I might kill myself if
she leaves me, but I might do that anyway and I don't want her around for that. She has said she loves
me in emails, but I don't feel the same. I don't mind having her around occasionaly for a friend since
I am usually home. I have a hard time expressing the way I feel with pretty much everyone and I think
she's gotten the wrong message. I really don't want to hurt her feelings.

Also, I'm worried that if I break things off with her, her brother may get pissed at me. I want to keep
both of them as friends while having her stay elsewhere and not feel that she has to be with me. I have
too much going on in my head to figuure this one out on my own. Please help. Advice
Hopefully you are already doing this, but my first advice is to see a medical profession to get help with your depression. When you talk about killing yourself you need more help than you can get on the internet.

Meanwhile, write her and her brother a letter or email, or call on the phone to tell them that your relationship with her is making you feel more uncomfortable and that you want to limit her visits to a reasonable number (you might say once a week or so).

But, most important, get some pschological help!

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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